Say It Ain't So
by perfectshadeofdarkblue
Summary: AH; After five years, Edward Cullen has returned to the life he was meant to lead. But will his sudden reappearance be a celebration or will he be on his way again before he can even pack his bags?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Hey everyone! For those that don't know, I've got another story that I'm working on right now – "Best Definition of Good Intentions." I took some time off from writing since my life was getting pretty busy, but now that things have calmed down and I officially have time off (yay!), I was starting to write again. I know that I don't have the most regular of update schedules, but I'm always writing, little by little, in between updates. But not this time. So now, after a couple of weeks, I'm having a hard time getting back into the rhythm of "Best Definitions of Good Intentions." And, really, the last thing I want to do after being away, is posting a sub-par chapter. To avoid that, I decided to just try writing something else. This is actually an exercise I learned from a writing workshop that I did a few years ago. I always had a good time writing with this in mind and found myself to be fairly successful with this technique. So I hope you all like it, too.**

**If you haven't read "Best Definition of Good Intentions," and don't care about any of that – sorry! But go read it now! And tell me what you think!**

**This is just a small story to help ease me back in, so don't worry; my focus is still on that story. And there will be an updating coming your way shortly! **

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Say It Ain't So**

**- 1 - **

**EPOV**

"She's not here," Alice spoke without even turning to look at me. She was lying on the couch and I could just make out the spikes of her jet black hair over the tan leather. She was watching my reflection in the television in front of her.

I met her stare in the blank screen and asked, "Where is she?"

"Edward," she said, finally turning around. She didn't even have the decency to shut the fashion magazine that was open on her lap. Alice wrapped one arm across the back of the couch, twisting her back at an absurd angle to glare at me – as though that would change my mind.

"Alice," I said back. Why did she have to make this even more difficult for me?

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here for Bella." Questions, I expected, but not this one – the answer was obvious. But Alice's stare said otherwise. Her eyes were almost glazed over, almost as though she were staring through me. Suddenly, when her focus returned, I felt exposed. I realized I was still standing in the doorway. "Can I?"

Alice nodded and put the magazine down. She stood up and walked around the couch as I took a few steps into the apartment. It was my first visit here, my first glimpse into the life I could have been a part of. It was obvious that Alice had been the primary decorator, but it was just as obvious that she'd kept Bella's personal style in mind. Nothing was too over the top, nothing seemed out of place. Everything, from the matching tan leather couch and recliner to the brown Oriental rug and wooden fan, looked as though it belonged in that apartment.

"Nice place," I said as I lost myself in the photographs on the wall. The entire back wall of the apartment was painted a sage green, allowing the myriad of black and whites displays to stand out. There were two larger than the others, centered on the wall with only a few inches between them. Both I knew well.

On the left, three young girls were swinging on a playground. The photo was taken from the back and all three were at different heights, their shadows blurred across the grass. The girl on the right was leaning back; I could almost see her face basking in the sun's rays. Her light, curly hair was almost touching the ground and her body was in a line all the way to her pointed bare feet, toes in the sky. A slow smile spread across my face as I looked at Alice in the middle of the photo. She was the highest and I could remember thinking that day, watching their backs climb and fall, that she would surely flip over the bar at some point. Alice had always been the one to test the limits. Always the first to learn how far was too far. But that was when we were younger. Who knew it would be another Cullen, me, to play those childish games as an adult? But I'd learned my lesson and now I was back to fix my mistakes.

Purposely, I ignored the third girl in the photo. The picture, taken so long ago, wouldn't do her beauty any justice. And after all this time, I wanted to see the real thing.

"Why?" Alice asked.

Moving onto the second photo, I thought about her question. Why what, oh dear cousin? Why did I leave? Why did it take so long to return? Why did I come back? Why was I there for Bella? It didn't matter which, the answer was all the same.

"Because I need her, Alice." I faced her now, glaring at her as she'd glared at me only moments before.

"And what if she doesn't need you?" Even though I'd seen Alice in the five years I'd been "gone," I still felt as though I hadn't because I hadn't seen her in the ways I knew her best – as part of our group. We'd seen each other at least once a year for the holidays and I was always surprised to learn her speed had never slowed. And neither had her need to insert herself into other people's business – business that did not concern her.

"Then it'll break my heart," I admitted truthfully.

"Like you broke hers," she retorted.

Subconsciously, my eyes averted from her, toward the ground. I didn't want her to see how much that hurt me. I knew Alice well enough to know that she'd take the comment back and apologize for being so rude, even though it was true. I needed to hear that. I deserved to hear that.

"Alice."

"Don't hurt her again, Edward."

I ran my hands through my hair, pulling at the ends, feeling the tug at the roots. The pain meant this was real. There was nothing left to say. I repeated, "I need her."

"She's not here." Apparently, Alice had nothing else unsaid.

"Where is she?"

Resigned, Alice let out the deep breath she'd been holding. "She's at yoga."

"Yoga?" I asked.

She nodded her head, got off the couch and walked towards the kitchen. I followed.

"But Bella doesn't – since when does Bella do yoga?" I tried to recover from my mistake.

"There are a lot of things about Bella that you don't know," she said, pointedly.

"I know." It was quiet, but I still admitted it aloud, not matter how much it pained me to remember that I hadn't been a part of her life for the past five years. I closed my eyes, pushing away the thoughts that plagued me. There would be no way I'd survive the next few hours if I let myself wander what my life – our life – would like, if only I'd never left.

"She started yoga soon after you left." Alice had always been kind enough not to mention Bella to me. It was like an unspoken rule between us at all our family functions and the only time she broke it was when I inquired. I never knew more than the basics, though. Alice continued, "She does it to find peace. And I can't decide whether or not catching her on her way home from yoga is going to help you or hurt you."

"What do you mean?"

"Look, Edward." Alice jumped onto the counter, crossing her legs underneath her. Apparently, my pixie-like relative had a penchant for sitting atop surfaces. One look at her serious face and I knew I was in for it. All these years, she'd been holding back what she wanted to say. Finally, she was letting it go. And I don't think I could have been happier. Someone needed to yell at me. I deserved it. "I'm glad you've finally realized you need Bella like she knew she needed you all those years ago. I only wish you would have figured it out then – it would have saved us all from a lot of heartache."

"Alice, I'm sorry –"

"No, Edward. Don't apologize. Not to me anyway. You're family, and I'm going to love you and support you no matter what. But Bella doesn't have to. And after the past five years, while she was here and you weren't, she earned the right to make this decision for all of us. So don't apologize to me, Edward. And don't apologize to Emmett or Rosalie or Jasper. Apologize to Bella. Win her back and you'll win the rest of us back."

"I –"

"I knew you'd come back. You're a good person, Edward. I don't think I'll ever really understand why you left and I don't really think it matters anymore, now that you're back. At the end of the day, I knew that you believed leaving was the right thing to do – at that time. Just like how I know you believe coming back is the right thing to do. You wouldn't be here if you didn't think it was the right thing to do. You wouldn't put Bella through that?"

It hurt that she needed confirmation. "No, I wouldn't do that to Bella. I wouldn't do that to any of you."

"I had the faith that you would return. I had the faith that you would eventually realize what Bella meant to you. But Edward," she paused for a much needed breath. "Bella didn't have that faith. She believed you when you told her you had to leave. She believed you when you told her you didn't love her anymore."

"What's the point, Alice?" I was getting agitated. I knew what I'd done and I certainly wasn't proud of it, but was it necessary to spell it out for me? But, I suppose I had asked for it.

"She's made peace with it – with your decision. At least, as best as she's been able to. She's accepted your right to make that decision. She finally accepted your decision and the fact that she couldn't change your mind. Every day, she still wishes you hadn't. She won't say it aloud, but it's obvious. Regardless, it's taken her a long time, but she's moved on."

Moved on? What did that even mean? Had she forgotten all about me? Did she hate me? Was she even going to listen to me?

"I just need to tell her how I feel. She needs to know I'm sorry."

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**A/N: So what'd you think? I originally wanted this to be a one shot. But once I got into the rhythm of writing, I really was anxious to get over to "Best Defintions of Good Intentions." Although, I won't lie - I like what I've done here and I'm intrigued to go further. The question is - who's coming along for the ride?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Got nothing to say other than thanks for coming along for the ride. Enjoy…

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**Say It Ain't So**

**- 2 -**

**ALICE POV**

"Why don't you just wait in Bella's room?" I suggested and pointed towards her door at the end of the hallway.

"You mean, why don't I go in another room so you can call Jasper and Rosalie and Emmett to tell them I'm back?" Edward raised his eyebrows at me. Like he expected me to keep this to myself. This wasn't 'surprise – Edward came home early from his weekend away'; this was 'surprise – Edward is back after he ran away from us five years ago and he's trying to win Bella, and by proxy the rest of us, back.'

"You're a piece of work, you know that?" He was making it difficult to be mad at him. As long as we were in a family situation, I was fine loving him and treating him like the family. But the second he stepped through my front door claiming he wanted Bella back – needed Bella back – I couldn't figure out where my loyalties lay. He was my family, we shared DNA, but Bella was my family, too, we shared history. How could I be family to both now?

"I'm just kidding, Alice. There's no stopping you, I know. I'll wait in Bella's room." He turned down the hallway, raking his hands through his hair again. I watched as he paused before opening the door, hesitating with his hand on the door handle. Once the click of the door sounded, I grabbed my cell phone from the counter and moved as far from Bella's room as possible. I was not going to chance Edward hearing this, and knowing Rosalie and Emmett, I'd probably need to go halfway across the globe to ensure that. But, alas, I decided the laundry room was far enough.

Closing the door behind me, I moved my jeans from washer to dryer and turned the machine on. At the first thud of metal hitting metal, I jumped on top the machine and I dialed Rosalie. On the second ring, she picked up.

"Hey, Al- No, Emmett! Put that down!" she half-greeted before reprimanding her husband. "Emmett, no! Not that one!"

"Rosalie!" I shouted, trying to bring her attention to the problem at hand, the one she didn't know about yet. Crap, how was I supposed to tell her? Or Emmett, for that matter? Rosalie would probably drive over here as fast as she could to run Edward over and Emmett would come to hold Bella together.

"Alice, sorry. Hold on, I'm putting you on speaker." While I waited as Rosalie pushed the buttons and I heard the familiar sounds of her fingers on the keys, I decided I should probably make myself useful.

It wasn't until I'd sorted the piles of laundry on the floor and reorganized the linen closet, while listening to Rosalie explain to Emmett "that the good china is only used for holidays" and Emmett explain to Rosalie "Mexican Monday is a holiday," that I finally heard Rosalie's voice directed to me through the speaker.

"Okay, I'm here, Alice. Sorry about that. We're way behind getting ready for tonight." The speakerphone was still on and Alice could hear the banging of pots and pans in the background.

"About tonight, Rose…" I started, unsure of how to make her understand. She was going to be heartbroken.

"Alice Cullen. You will not take the tone with me when talking about Mexican Monday. Whatever you are going to say, you can just forget it. You are not canceling," she'd taken her mother voice with me, which would have worked, if I were actually her child.

"I'm not canceling, Rose. I'm just not sure tonight is the best night."

"What do you mean 'not the best night'?" Her voice was taking an angry and I braced myself for the wrath she was about to leash. "Do you realize how long we've been planning this? How Emmett and I rushed the renovations so they would be done for tonight? How all we've been doing for the past two days is get ready? You couldn't have realized tonight wasn't the best night before it was tonight?"

I felt awful. And I almost didn't want to tell her the truth. The first reason being that she was already angry enough. If she found out – when she found out – that Edward was in town, to see Bella, and the rest of us, she'd flip. She'd put so much work into tonight. Ever since we all moved to Chicago, we'd been participating in Mexican Monday. Bella, Jasper and Emmett had started it our first year here, giving them something to do when Rosalie and I worked late Monday nights. Tijuana Ranchero was directly in the middle of all of our apartments. The three amigos would meet there right after work for dinner and then Rosalie and I would join them for a drink as soon as we got off.

After a few years, we'd all found new, nicer apartments and Tijuana Ranchero wasn't anywhere near our new homes, and even though Rosalie and I both got promotions and didn't work late on Mondays anymore, it was still part of our tradition. It was the Central Perk to our 'Friends.' Any news that had to be shared was told over chips and queso.

But then Emmett and Rosalie had to go and change things on us. They'd gotten married at the beginning of the summer and left for a month-long honeymoon that night. Two days later and it was the first Mexican Monday that weren't together. In the five years since our college graduations, we'd all been either home, in Chicago, together, or away together. No one was ever left behind; if one person had to go somewhere on business, we all had other places to be.

The night of the McCarty wedding, Bella, Jasper and I cried at the daunting summer without margaritas that was before us. We couldn't continue without the hitched. So we'd said our goodbyes and when Rosalie and Emmett returned, in all their post-honeymoon glory, they'd immediately moved into their new house, just outside the city, rushed through their renovations and planned a homemade Mexican Monday before the fall started. It was the last week before our lives returned to reality. Rosalie and Emmett would be returning to work, Jasper and Bella to school.

I was the one whose life wasn't on the same schedule. But, leave to it Edward, to turn all of our lives upside down.

"You're canceling Mexican Monday, pixie?" Emmett shouted in the background.

"I'm not cancelling!" I yelled back, then immediately lowered my volume. I didn't want Edward to realize we had plans. Granted, his timing sucked, but if he realized how important tonight was, he'd just come back tomorrow. And there was no way I was going to make it through the return of Mexican Monday, albeit homemade, margaritas and the company of the five closet friends without telling them Edward had come back. Not going to happen.

"Alice, stop messing around," Rosalie spoke as all the noise around her subsided. Her voice was still distant and I knew I was on speaker still, and she suddenly sounded tired.

I took advantage of the quiet and let the cat out of the bag. No sense in dancing around the issue. "Edward's back."

When I heard the shattering of glass from the pitcher Emmett dropped I knew it was safe to continue. Nothing left in their hands to break. "He wants Bella back. He's waiting in her room right now."

"God dammit."

"I'm sorry Rose, Emmett. I know how much tonight meant to you, but what can we...And next week is Bella's birthday so I know that's out and…I'm sorry."

"Text me as soon as she gets back from yoga and goes in her room. I'll be there to kick his ass." The phone clicked in my ear, but I didn't hang up until I heard the dial tone beep in my ear.

Feeling claustrophobic, I left the laundry room and flopped back down the couch. I opened a new text message on my phone and took a minute to think about what to say to Jasper. I didn't want to say that Edward was back in a text message but I didn't want to be cryptic and have him worry unnecessarily. He would work himself into a frenzy over the repercussions of Edward's actions on the rest of us. The final installment of his exhibit had premiered today at the history museum where he'd been interning all summer, and he certainly didn't need any extra worry.

"Call me when you get this and just head over when you finish," I typed with a wink. Jasper was great enough to indulge my every whim and he'd think nothing more of the vague text.

Checking my watch, I saw that Jasper would be over in about an hour and Bella was due home in just a few minutes. And there was still one person left to ask about the change of plans. I assumed he'd be coming to our apartment first and we'd all drive to Rosalie and Emmett's together, but I wanted to ask Bella first. Besides, what I was suppose to tell him? Not the truth – I couldn't. Even though he'd been a large part of our group over the past couple of years, it wasn't my place. Bella would need to cancel with Jacob.

But how do I tell her? Do I warn her before she goes in her room? And what is Jake gets here before she can call him? What if she doesn't want to cancel? What if she just sends Edward on his way?

No, Bella wouldn't do that. She still loved him, she'd always love him. Bella would at least here what he had to say before she made any decisions. Edward had always said he'd had the hardest time reading Bella, that she always surprised him with her answers to his questions. But I'd always been able to understand my predictable friend's actions, and I could even understand why Edward was so baffled by Bella's thoughts.

Edward was selfish. He couldn't say no to the things he loved, to the things he needed – even if it was a bad idea. That's why I knew he was sure he was doing the right thing when he left and why I knew he was sure he was doing the right thing now. Bella, on the other hand, couldn't say no to anything. She thought the best of everyone and everything. She never believed she could understand anything at first glance, she was always knew there was more than meets the eye.

The only thing I would never understand about Bella is how she lost that ability when Edward told her he didn't love her. It was an obvious lie. They hadn't spent six years together without loving each other. Why had Bella all of sudden started taking things for face value?

I heard the door click open and feet pad down the hallway. I pretended to be engrossed in the magazine that lay neglected in my lap.

"Hey, Alice?" Edward called from the hallway. I looked up to see his frightened face. He was honestly scared shitless of what he was about to do – he didn't know how Bella would react. He thought she was going to send him away without so much as a second thought.

"Edward," I said sympathetically. In this moment, the choice was easy. There was no choice. They were both family and I would do anything for either one. I didn't have to pick sides. We were all fighting for the same thing: love.

"Did you know I was coming? I mean…were you surprised?" he asked earnestly. He'd always trusted my opinion; he knew I knew best sometimes. There were times he didn't want to hear what I had to say, but only because he wasn't ready to face the truth. This was not one of those times. He needed to know he was doing the right thing. He didn't want to make things worse for Bella.

But how would I have known he was coming? Had he told his parents? How long had this been in the works? I knew there wasn't much time before Bella got home and I needed to get Edward back into her room before she walked in the front door. I had to give her a heads up; I couldn't let her be blindsided. I'd have to get the answers to those questions later.

"For the past five years, Edward, every time there was a knock on the door, I thought it was you. The only thing that surprises me, is how long it took you to come home," I answered honestly. Whether Bella forgave Edward for his mistakes or not, I would forgive Edward. He was where he belonged now, and that was all that mattered. Wherever he'd been these past five years, whatever he'd been doing, for whatever reason he left, he'd done it without the women he loved, without his other half. I couldn't even imagine spending five years without Jasper by my side, with the idea that he hated me. Frankly, I'm not sure how Edward managed to survive for as long as he did. The boy's got a hell of a resolve. Just like Bella that way – once either one of them makes up his or her mind, there's no changing it.

"Thanks, Alice," he said, the tension melting away. Good, he believed in himself again. There'd be no way he could survive the next few hours with self-doubt clouding his judgment.

"Anytime, Edward. Now go wait for your girl," I instructed. "She should be home any minute now."

Sure enough, no more than two minutes after Edward had retreated back into Bella's room then Bella, herself, walked into the apartment. I watched from the couch as she walked in the apartment, scrambling in her bag for something.

"Hey," she said, glancing up briefly with her hair in her eyes as she pulled her phone out. "I'm going to call…"

"Bella," I cut her off.

She kept walking to her room, her white shirt sticking to the sweat that covered her body. Her face was flushed but she looked calm. I hated the break the little bit of peace she'd managed to find in all the craziness that encompassed our lives. She was still looking down at her phone, scrolling through the numbers when she reached her door.

"Bella," I called out louder and cleared my throat.

"What is it, Alice? I need to take and a shower and –" she'd opened her door, but turned around to face me.

"Hi, Bella," Edward said, standing from the seat he'd taken on the old-fashioned parlor couch in her room.

Recognition flashed on her face and she turned to stare at Edward. She flipped her phone shut and closed the door in one fluid motion. Then she turned to look at me, questioning.

Yes, Bella, my dear, sweet, best friend. The love of your life that brutally left you five years ago – that you've never gotten over since – is standing in your room waiting for talk to you. Those words just didn't cut it. All I could do was nod.

She shoved the phone in her bag, steeled her face and turned back to the door. Like Edward, she hesitated with her hand on the handle before pushing it open. She immediately went to close the door behind her, but not before uttering the only thing of the entire exchange I managed to hear.

"Edward."

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**A/N: Yes? No? What'd you think?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: I've forgotten how little time to myself I really get around the holidays. Sorry for the delay, everyone. Enjoy...

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**Say It Ain't So**

**- 3 - **

**Jacob POV**

For the 20th time in the past half an hour, I hung up my phone and stared at the time. 4:03.

Bella was officially three minutes late. And late is not something Bella Swan does. Calling her the most reliable person wouldn't even begin to cover how absurdly out of character this behavior was.

Once more, for good measure, I redialed her number. Three rings later her voicemail clicked on.

"Bella, it's Jake. Again. I'm starting to get worried. Call me." Short, simple – it wasn't like I hadn't already left twenty others that were a bit more detailed.

That's it, I thought, shoving my phone in my pocket and checking for my wallet. I'm officially worried. Tonight, months in the making, was too important and everyone knew that. No one would have dared change the plans this late in the game.

I glanced across the room to the clock on the wall before I closed and locked the front door behind me. 4:10. Ten minutes late – unheard of. Maybe I'd pass her on my way to her place.

The walk was a short one, and as I weaved among the people on the crowded Chicago sidewalk I paid special attention to everyone around me. Towering above the masses, I had an easy advantage when it came to searching for someone. Just about a block away, I gave up and called Alice. Unlike Bella, she picked up.

"Jacob," she breathed into phone. She sounded almost relieved and it immediately put me on edge.

"Alice, what's going on?" At the end of the block, I could see the rose-colored awning of their building.

"Oh!" she exclaimed as she realized what I was thinking. "Nothing. Don't be worried."

"Alice, where's Bella? She should have been at my apartment at four and she isn't answering my calls. Is she home?"

"Bella?" Alice asked, stalling. What is going on? Alice was definitely hesitating. "Uhhh…yea, Bella's around here somewhere."

"Well, I'm outside your building I'll be up soon, okay?"

"Oh, alright. Rose and Emmett just got here, too."

"Wait, what? Why are Rosalie and Emmett here? I thought we were supposed to be going to their new house for dinner tonight?" For the past few weeks, the only thing anyone had been able to focus on was this dinner. I had never understood the importance of Mexican Mondays, not that I was complaining that I didn't like – I just wasn't around for it in the beginning. But that didn't stop me from realizing it was important.

"Well, there's been a slight change in plans. It's just…I can't really explain over the phone. Just come on up and we'll talk about it once everyone gets here." She hung up the phone before I could even ask another question.

In the two years I'd lived in Chicago, never once had someone even dared to show up a minute late to Mexican Monday. For the entire event to be cancelled, I knew something huge had to be happening. Whatever it was, it involved Bella. And that didn't make me happy. In fact, it annoyed me.

She'd started to call me. To tell me what was going on? Or was that why she hung up? But then why didn't she answer any of my calls? I couldn't stay mad at Bella, but I couldn't believe she was keeping something from me. We'd been friends for years – maybe we weren't as close as the rest of her group, but we were still friends. Back when we all lived in Forks, there had only ever been room for six in her group, and I never made the cut. To be honest, I was never really friends with the rest of them until I'd followed Bella to Chicago. And even after two years, I'd never fit in as seamlessly as Edward had. I'd always be the replacement.

I nodded in greeting to the doorman who let me up without any questions. At the elevator I found Jasper.

"Hey Jake!" he said turning to wave at me. "Where's Bella? I thought she was going to your place first and Alice and I were going to pick you up on the way."

Apparently I wasn't the only one out of the loop, which, strange as it sounds, brought me a little joy. It made me feel as though I belonged here a little bit more. If Jasper and I were only learning the news together, then I wasn't really the last to know.

"You haven't talked to Alice?" I asked. I knew Alice had a hard time keeping things to herself, especially Jasper – those two shared everything.

"I called her when I was leaving the museum. She'd texted me saying to call and come over after work. She didn't say anything else though. She sounded a little off, though. I figured she was just preoccupied and nervous for tonight."

I didn't have the chance to wonder why Alice would be nervous; the elevator dinged, distracting me from Jasper's words. When the doors closed behind us, he spoke again.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know. Bella hasn't been answering my calls and she was supposed to be at my place at four. When she didn't show up, I called Alice and headed over here. Alice told me there was a change in plans. Apparently, Emmett and Rosalie are already here."

"That explains the truck in the parking garage. I knew there couldn't be two people in this city who own monstrosities like that. Was that all she said?" By now, the elevator had stopped and we were walking to the door at the end of the hall.

I shook my head as I knocked on the door. Next to me, Jasper grabbed the handle and opened the door, shrugging his shoulders as he walked past me. Another reminder that he belonged here and I didn't. I doubted I would ever feel comfortable enough to just walk into Alice's apartment – even though she shared it with Bella.

Jasper immediately disappeared into the kitchen, in search of Alice and I hesitantly looked down the hallway to my left: Bella's door was closed. On the couch in front of me, Rosalie's blond curls were spilling over the back, cascading almost down to the floor. One delicate hand was over her eyes, new wedding ring shining in the lights. Her other hand was grasping Emmett's, resting on his leg. I couldn't see Rosalie's face, but Emmett's entire body was tense beside his wife. He was rubbing soothing circles across the back of Rosalie's hand and his eyes weren't focused on anything. He looked over at me when I walked into the room and gave a small smile. It seemed out of place on his face, as though his energy wasn't meant to be contained. Emmett was usually the loud one of the bunch, always concocting some crazy scheme and sucking the rest into it. I'm not sure I'd ever seen him subdued.

"What's going on, man?" I asked, walking across the room. I gave Rosalie a friendly rub on the top of her hair. "Hey, Blondie."

I couldn't pass up a prime opportunity to mess with her. It just gave me too much enjoyment to make fun of Rosalie; I could get such a rise out of her. This time, however, she didn't respond with a snarky comment. Actually, she didn't respond at all. She didn't even move. I plopped on the couch next to Emmett, who still hadn't responded to me.

"Alice!" I called, no longer able to withstand not knowing. "What's going on?"

From her seat across from me, Rosalie shushed me so quietly I wasn't even sure she had spoken. I looked up to see she hadn't moved, her eyes will still covered, but Emmett glanced over to me with a shake of his head.

"Not so loud."

I was about to question him and ask what the hell was going on, and why everyone was being so damn secretive, but Alice danced out of the kitchen with Jasper right behind her. Well, so much for being included. I was officially the last to know. Jasper's brow was furrowed in concentration and he seemed to be suffering from an internal struggle for peace. A war was waging in his mind as he sat in the only available chair.

Alice brushed past, paying all of us no mind, and flitted down the hallway towards Bella's room. She pressed her ear against the door and, expecting me to disrupt, brought her finger to her lips, urging me to stay silent.

"Good," she said to herself. Then to the group, "I don't hear anything. They must have gone up to the roof."

She skipped back down the hall and took a seat on the arm of Jasper's chair and looked around the room. Rosalie was now sitting up, her face all business.

Everyone's eyes were on me.

And I was still waiting for an explanation. Why did I feel as though I was sticking my nose where it didn't belong? I'd never felt like such an intruder in this group. Bella was my connection, and without her here, I was just the outsider. Just like I'd been in Washington.

Because I'd lived on the Quileute Reservation and was two years younger than the rest, our paths had never crossed much during high school. Bella's standing among her group had been long established; it was one of those perfect friendships formed in kindergarten. I, however, was stuck on the reservation with the same guys for eighteen years. Forks is a small town, I know that, but it didn't still prevent me from wishing I had that sort of freedom. Even though everyone knew everything about everyone, in Forks and La Push, there weren't the same expectations for the teenagers of Forks that existed for the Quileute kids. My two older sisters had been lucky enough to get out, and while the entire town acted as though they resented their lack of loyalty, I could see that they were actually jealous.

I knew I was jealous. I wanted nothing more than to get out of La Push. I didn't want to be stuck there, going nowhere with my life. My two best friends on the reservation, Embry and Quil, whose relatives were tribal elders like mine, tried to explain that leaving was turning my back on our heritage. I knew they would see it that way and there was nothing to be done to convince them otherwise. It didn't stop me from trying though. My freshman and sophomore year in high school, I lost a lot of friends with all my talk of plans about skipping town. And that's when Bella and I became close.

We'd always been friends through our fathers, but it had always been a superficial kind of relationship. When I had no one else and was in need of a friend, Bella was there. And she continued to be there, even until this day. My happiness during my last two years in La Push, I owed her. She was the one who convinced me to appreciate what I had while I had it, instead of always looking to the future. Never again would I make that same mistake.

I waited. Still no one made a sound.

"Someone going to tell me what's going on?"

Alice looked uneasy for a second as she and the others silently debated who would do the honors. Apparently, Alice won.

"Jake, we've never talked about this much since you've been around, and I'm not sure how much Bella has told you. If she talked about this with you as much as with us, then you probably don't even know I'm talking about."

I shook my head, two seconds in and already confused.

"Just cut to the chase, Alice. There's no point in stalling now. Actually, we should be hurrying through this because we don't know how long we have," Rosalie interrupted before turning to me. "Jacob, Edward's back."

"Edward Cullen?"

Five heads nodded at me, but I didn't continue until I received confirmation from all five of them.

"As in the Edward Cullen who broke Bella's heart?"

Again, all five nodded in unison.

"And he's back?" I asked, still unable to further my thought process. "Where is he?"

Emmett lifted an arm and pointed down the hallway towards Bella's door.

"And Bella?"

His arm remained in the air and his eyes followed the path he was pointing.

I was at a loss for words. Sure, I'd known Edward Cullen in the same sense that I had known Emmett or Jasper when we were in high school. But I'd only ever been friends with Bella back then. She'd never admitted it aloud, to me at least, but Bella had been in love with Edward Cullen all those years ago. They hadn't even dated back then, but anytime I'd tried to ask her out, she'd always brush me off, claiming she didn't share the same feelings. Personally, I always saw it like she was waiting for someone else.

Bella was a beautiful girl as a teenager and I could never understand why she never accepted the advances of anyone. Then, it had made me happy, to see that if it wasn't me, it wasn't anyone, but anyone could see that she was just holding out for Edward. Except Edward. I'm not sure he ever saw that.

But then I'd heard they finally got together in college. Naturally, the entire group had across country to the same university. I never heard that they'd broken up. After my college graduation, I'd returned to La Push to make good on a promise to my father. Truth was I had nothing else to do. Leaving the reservation for college and leaving for good turned out to be two entirely different things, and I was scared to go. I found myself in the same position I'd been in all those years before; I didn't know what life had on store for me out there. I didn't know where to go.

Once again, Bella came along and solved my problem. At first, I didn't even recognize her. She'd always been a small girl, but she was a ghost of her former self – all skin and bone. Her deep brown eyes had lost their depth, had lost their life and I no longer felt the mysterious pull of her smile. I didn't know what happened and I never asked, but I knew she'd suffered heartbreak. And I knew she needed me. I wanted to help her like she'd been helping me.

Six months later, I moved to Chicago, following Bella and the rest was history. Although, it did take a bit longer for her friends to accept me.

Alice was right, Bella never talked about Edward to me. I'd never asked, never wanted to upset her. It was obvious that he wasn't a part of the picture anymore, but I never knew the details.

There were pictures all around the apartment of the group growing up. Bella's eyes would always linger on the photos of Edward – she thought no one noticed, but we all did. The rest didn't think I noticed when they exchanged a knowing look afterwards, but I did. Strangely enough, there were no pictures of only Edward and Bella, and it was the only pairing missing.

For the first six months of my new friendship with Bella, the first six months I'd live in Chicago, those six months that Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett hadn't accepted me, Bella had been a wreck. The others were used to it, but it wasn't the Bella I knew and I couldn't give up the hope that the girl I used to love would return. Never in my life had I worked so hard for anything that I did for Bella. I wanted, I needed, her to be happy again. I couldn't be happy knowing she wasn't.

Little by little, she got better. Then one day, like magic, it seemed she was cured. It was the same day that I was accepted – the irony was never lost on me. No one spoke it aloud, but I knew they credited Bella's return to me. I was perfectly fine with that, as long as Bella was here to stay.

Edward Cullen's return jeopardized that. Didn't the others see that? How could they sit here calmly, discussing his return while he and Bella were in the next room? Couldn't they see what was at stake?

I couldn't stand it. I wouldn't stand for it. I would not let anything take Bella from me – from us.

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**A/N: I know it's not exactly what you were expecting. But I just couldn't do Bella's POV yet. I'm thinking Rosalie's up next, what do you think?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight.**_

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. Hopefully you all had a great holiday, and hopefully less crazy and more relaxing than mine! Happy New Year! Enjoy…

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**Say It Ain't So**

**- 4 - **

**Rosalie POV**

The silence was killing me. In the absence of sound, my anger was taking control. My eyes couldn't focus on anything. With clouded vision, they bounced around the room, searching for a solution. I tried to keep them trained to the ground, to nothing in particular, to gather my thoughts, focus myself, but I was unsuccessful. My fists clenched as though preparing for a fight but I knew, I hoped, it wouldn't come to that. I couldn't ever be physically violent, but I was a pro at being verbally abusive.

Edward would pay for this.

I had just gotten married – the big elaborate wedding I'd always dreamed of. Though it was lopsided, we'd made the best of it. It wasn't as I'd pictured it in my youth, but it was time to grow up. I'd spent a glorious month honeymooning across Europe with the love of my life. I'd returned to settle into my new life as a wife, as Emmett's wife. We'd moved into our suburban home, spent the past month perfecting it for our friends. And just as we were about to debut our home, christen it with Mexican Monday, Edward had to return.

Edward ruined Mexican Monday.

In fact, Edward ruined my wedding. It didn't matter how insanely happy I'd been the past two months, being well on my way to having everything I'd ever wanted in life, because it was spoiled. All of the preparations didn't matter if Mexican Monday didn't matter. And if they didn't matter, the honeymoon was no longer perfect – it could have been longer. Then the wedding goes out the window because the honeymoon wasn't right.

I've always been dramatic, but anger made it worse.

Across the room I could see Jasper having a similar reaction. He looked every bit as angry as I felt and, even more, he actually looked offended that Edward would have the audacity to show up today. Next to Jasper, though, Alice's face was completely blank. It didn't even look as though she were focusing on anything. Every so often she would look at Jacob, as though he held the key that would fix this tragedy, but then just as quickly, she'd zone out again.

Jacob just might be the key. He'd been the one to solve our problems the first time around - back when Bella was retreated into silence and acted more like a black hole than a person. For the two years that the five of us had lived in Chicago, without Edward, Bella hadn't been Bella. There was no other way to describe it other than that she didn't know how to function as Bella without Edward.

It made total sense to me. She wasn't Bella without Edward - just like I wouldn't be Rosalie without Emmett. There might have been a time where that wasn't true, but not anymore. I couldn't begin to imagine Bella's position. As strong as everyone, including myself, might think I am, I would have reacted just like Bella.

But suddenly, she'd returned from a trip home to visit Charlie, her father, and she smiled.

Did we remember Jacob Black, she'd asked. Vaguely, we'd recalled. Well, we will soon enough, he was moving to Chicago! It was the first thing in two years I'd seen Bella get excited about, look forward to. In the months that followed while we waited for this miracle worker's appearance, Bella could only talk about how great Jake was, how funny he was, how kind he was.

It wouldn't have mattered if he was a serial killer; I was excited he was coming here. Then the day of his arrival came and there was nothing to look forward to anymore. Sure, Jacob was a nice guy, but nothing special. Whatever charm he'd held over Bella had faded and she'd retreated back to her old ways. Jake, though, didn't give up. He didn't like this side of Bella and, apparently didn't think we'd put any effort into changing that.

Talk about pissing the rest of us off – accuse us of not caring enough. Great way to get on our good side, Jake.

The sad thing was that things did change. Bella did get better. Little by little and bit by bit, she improved. Thanks to Jake.

And that hurt the rest of us, knowing that we used to be all that she needed, that we used to be able to provide the support and comfort to get her through anything, but not anymore. It took us awhile to really let Jacob in. We all felt grateful towards him and no one could deny his magnetic personality, but we were hesitant to really accept him. What if he left us, too? What if we weren't good enough for him either?

We'd found countless ways to test him over the past three years – shopping trips and football games, flat tires and forgotten keys. He'd proved himself, hands down, time and time again; he was always there when any of us needed him. It was obvious that he did it solely for Bella, but that was enough for us. Our only requirement for friendship was to care about Bella, to promise to never hurt her, like us.

But we'd never let him all the way in. Tonight was going to be his first Mexican Monday. Bella had been freaking out about it, I'm sure that's why she was going to go over to Jacob's first, to help ease her nerves. Personally, I think Jacob was the only one who didn't realize what tonight meant.

Tonight, Jacob Black would have cemented himself in the hole that Edward Cullen had left in our group five years ago.

Perfect timing that Edward decided to show up today of all days. I wondered if Alice had anything to do with it, she'd been known for her meddling.

So what did it mean that Edward was back now – for us and for Bella? It was Bella's decision, I think everyone recognized that. If she forgave him, then we would take him back. First, we'd all need to forgive him on our terms, but forgiveness was guaranteed. However, the amount of time that took was up for debate. Personally, I vowed to make him work for it. I'd make him work for it for the rest of our lives. This was not something he would be able to live down. Ever.

That's assuming Bella was going to forgive him. Would she though? I couldn't answer that question as confidently as I would have liked. It was a toss-up.

I wanted to believe she would, she and Edward were meant to be, after all. He'd really hurt her when he disappeared, though, and he should have known better. His final words to her were lies, lies that made her question her entire life, let alone the past four years they'd been together.

And if she didn't forgive him, what would happen next? Would she spend the rest of time wondering what could have been? I doubted. Bella was the kind of girl to make up her mind and stick to that decision. It may take her some time to think things through, but once it was done, it was done. But would we retreat back to the same circle of friends we'd always been, or would we be different after this?

I looked to Emmett. His face was distorted, not with fury though. He looked happy and excited, but I could see he was trying to hide it underneath the confusion and concern for the group. He'd always been closest to Edward. They were the best friends within our circle of best friends. When we'd all lost Edward as a friend, Emmett had lost his brother, in a sense. Always the tough guy, Emmett put Bella first because her heart was broken and she didn't have anyone else. Emmett had me to pull him through, but before that, it had been Edward's job.

The funny thing about Emmett and me getting married first was that we were the last to start dating. During our junior year of college, we'd been Valentine's dates. I'd just come out of a rough relationship. I'd thought that Royce was the one for me; he was everything I'd thought I'd needed and could give me everything I'd thought I'd wanted. But, it turned out he wasn't the person I thought he was and I was stuck in a place where my whole world was crashing down around me. Alice and Jasper would be spending the holiday together, as were Edward and Bella, and since Emmett hadn't any other plans, we decided to be valentines.

It happened to be a Saturday and that morning we drove to the Adirondack Park Preserve from Dartmouth. We spent the afternoon talking, hiking, and just enjoying each other's company. We had an early dinner at a nice restaurant nearby and then drove home. We'd already arranged for Emmett to stay at the house I shared with Alice and Bella since both would be staying at their boyfriends' places, respectfully. Emmett lived with Edward in an apartment not from but we thought that Edward and Bella might like some privacy.

We ate ice cream out of the cartons, watched an assortment of movies and stayed up all night talking and laughing. Somewhere during the night, probably around 3:30, right after the _Survivor Man_ marathon had ended, I realized I was in love.

My entire view of love had been distorted and over the course of one day, Emmett had showed me that. I'd spent my life wanting a man who could give me everything I wanted, but I needed man who could give me everything he had. Emmett had done that. He hadn't planned some fancy dinner, trying to impress me. It hadn't even been a real date, but I'd enjoyed myself more than I'd ever had on a real one.

Lying there on the couch in my living room, curled up with one of my best friends, I leaned over and kissed Emmett. I thanked him for the best date I'd ever been on. I thanked him for showing me who he truly was, for sharing with me the places he loved to see and the things he loved to do. Then I told him I wanted to see if there was a possibility for us.

I squeezed Emmett's hand now, showing him I'd calmed down. I was still angry, but I wouldn't do anything rash. I knew what Edward's return meant – for Bella, for Jacob, for Emmett, for all of us. I didn't know what had transpired over the past five years for Edward, but I knew what led him here. His love had finally won out and he'd returned home.

Now we just needed a game plan.

Jacob was still looking around the room for an explanation. I wasn't sure we owed him one though. Edward belonged here and Jacob could never replace him. We were wrong to think he could. Another quick glance around the room showed me that everyone was on the same page as I was. But none of them knew how the break the news to Jacob. I guess there was a reason I was the resident bitch.

"Jacob," I started.

"What's going on?" he cut me off. "Why is he back? What does he want? Why is Bella talking to him? Is she okay?"

The questions flowed like the floodgates had been opened. The poor kid looked like he was close to tears from his concern for Bella. His fists were clenched in fury; I could see he knew what was coming. He knew what Edward's return meant for him. Time to kick the dog to the curb.

"Jake, I think you should leave." My voice was firm, my eyes bore right into his. It was my don't-mess-with-me face and had gotten me hundreds of things I'd wanted in the past. No one else even bothered to look at him.

For a second, he looked like the wind had been knocked out of him. Apparently, this hadn't been what he was expecting.

"What? No! What? You're kicking me out? You're telling me to leave?" His knuckles were turning white from the death grip he had on the arm of the couch.

"I think it's for the best now." I spoke quietly, apologetic almost. The least I could do was let him think that I personally didn't want him to leave.

"No!" He stood up, his entire frame shaking with anger and rage. "You can't tell me to leave! I'm here for Bella! She needs me now!"

I stood up. Even though he towered above me, I wouldn't let me think he had power over me. "We can handle it, Jacob."

"Like you handled it last time? How you let him leave, how you let him break her heart – ruin her! I won't let you do that again!"

This was getting out of hand. I stayed quiet, letting Jacob finish his rant as he paced around the room. I watched his eyes flicker over all the pictures in the room, including those on the walls. The pictures that showed the timeline of the friendship I shared with my six best friends. The timeline that he wasn't apart of.

Suddenly, he stormed back over to me. We were standing toe-to-toe and he was staring down at me. "Don't you understand what you're doing? He's not good for her! He'll just leave again! You're going to let her get hurt by him again." His voice dropped, he was breathing deeply, trying to get in control of his anger. "I won't stand by and let that happen."

He marched away from me again, grabbed a picture frame off a shelf. Inside was a picture taken right after Edward had left. Even though Bella looked like a ghost, we kept the picture around because it signified the start of our time as a group of five rather than six. Jacob shoved the picture towards us. "I can't let this happen again!"

The picture fell from his hand, shattering on the ground and he punched the wall, a loud thud echoing throughout the apartment.

In a split second, Emmett was on his feet and by Jacob. They were close in size but Jacob had the benefit of his anger, something that Emmett never allowed to control his actions – except for now.

Emmett grabbed Jacob's shoulder and turned him around. In one fluid movement, he grabbed the collar of Jacob's shirt, twisting his fist in the fabric and slamming Jacob against the wall. I could see the air between Jacob's feet and the floor. Jasper was on his feet in the next instant, ready to jump in when necessary.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Emmett growled, their faces millimeters apart. He dropped Jacob, who barely managed to stay on his feet.

Jacob went to take a step around Emmett but was quickly pushed back, hard against the wall by my husband. "You have no right to say those things."

In the silence that followed, we all heard the click of a door and two sets of footsteps down the hallway.

Then, Bella yelled, "Emmett! Jake!"

Her worried expression quickly sent the boys, because despite their ages that's what they were now, scrambling apart.

"What's going on?" Bella asked, looking between Emmett and Jacob.

Before Emmett could even open his mouth to explain, Jacob started talking. "He's back, Bella? And you're talking to him? Just like that?"

"Jake, you don't – "

"You're right, Bella, I don't understand. He just shows up and I'm thrown out the window. Just like that?" His words were still angry, but I could hear the hurt, too.

"Jacob, listen to me." She was still standing next to Emmett, making no move to go to Jacob.

"No, Bella, I don't want to hear it." He started for the door, but then stopped and turned back to Bella. He took a couple quick steps toward her and out of the corner of my eye I saw both Emmett and Edward tense at their proximity. "Tell me this, though: Are you expecting me to come back after he breaks your heart again? Your friends couldn't help you last time, do you think they'll be able to help you the second time around?"

He opened his mouth to say more, but Emmett stopped him. With a hard shove toward the door, Emmett ordered, "Get out, now."

Jacob looked to Bella, for some kind of opposition. To see if she'd change her mind. He was pleading with her, playing to her sympathies. He knew her as well as the rest of us, and there was no way she could allow him to leave if she understood how hurt he'd be by it.

"You should go, Jacob," Bella whispered. She turned away from him, wiping roughly at her eyes.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her down on the couch between Alice and me. We both wrapped our arms around her, rocking her as she sobbed. We heard the door click shut and the shuffling of feet as Emmett and Jasper reclaimed their seats. I looked up to see Edward still standing, hovering around the edges of the circle we'd formed. He looked scared shitless, but also like he'd found the hope he'd been looking for.

Score one for Cullen. Luck is on his side so far.

Flashing him a small yet encouraging smile, I motioned for him to take a seat.

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**A/N: What'd you think? Yes, no? Let me know. Either Emmett or Jasper up next, let me know who you want!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Ugh, I got so used to being on holiday time that I forgot how awful a real schedule is! I'm so sorry it's taken me awhile to get this up. Because of how crazy things are I can't promise frequent updates. Right now, I'm trying for once a week, probably sometime over the weekend. **

**It was about half/half for Jasper and Emmett, and I'm sorry to disappoint those who wanted Emmett next. But he will be next after this chapter – so you won't have to wait long! All of the reviews from the last chapter were great; I really appreciate everything that you all have to say. Whether it's good or bad or you've got questions, I like knowing what you're all thinking. Enjoy…

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**Say It Ain't So**

**- 5 -**

**Jasper POV**

As soon as Bella had calmed down enough to breathe quietly, I slipped out of the room and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge for her. I guess I wasn't stealthy enough because Emmett caught my eye as I was rounding the corner he jerked his chin upward to me. In a fashion typical only of friends who've known each other longer than healthy, I knew exactly what he wanted.

I tossed him a Gatorade, kept in the apartment solely for his benefit, and set Bella's drink on the coffee table in front of her.

"Thanks, Jasper," she mumbled with her weak voice. She quickly unscrewed the cap and gulped half the bottle down.

Then we all sat staring at one another. It was just like before, except we'd lost Jacob and had gained Edward and Bella in his place. There was also a lot of awkward tension floating around the room now. Edward's eyes were the on door – looking for the best escape route, I suppose. After the scene that just took place, I'd have bolted out the door if I were him.

Rosalie and Alice had unwound themselves from Bella, and I'm sure that was helping her breathing. Alice found her way to me, sitting down the arm of the chair with her legs draped over mine. She squeezed my hand, reassuring me, but for what, I wasn't sure. It was enough just to know she was there. Alice constantly did that, as though I was expecting her to not be there one time. I certainly don't take her for granted and I never have in all our time together, but I always appreciated the security and promise in her actions when she did that.

I waited for Bella to start talking. It seemed to make the most sense to me. No one else's words were important now, except for maybe Edward's. But none of us knew how to react to anything he said until we saw how Bella reacted. It was an unsettling feeling, having Bella as the leader of our group. Never in all the time that the five, or six, of us had been together, had Bella ever held that role. Typically, it belonged to Alice.

My always-energized love was constantly scheduling, making plans and running around with a purpose, usually trying to rub it off on us. Bella was always the first to go along with Alice's crazy schemes and somehow always managed to go along with it, too. I love Alice to death, I really do, but there are things I'd rather do than dress up as the Power Rangers for Halloween like she convinced us to do in high school. But not dressing as the equivalent to her Disney Princess as I learned in college. Aladdin just isn't a good look for me.

Bella really was the one who kept as all together. Whether it was her great comedic relief with a well-timed trip that caused us all to laugh and forget about any tension that existed or her ability to block everything else out and be practical about a situation, she was always the one to remind us that our friendship came first, no matter what.

When Edward left, Bella lost that ability. She was still the glue that held us together, but it was more because she needed us rather than the other way around. She lost her faith that all a person needed in life was the love of others. Edward had proved all her theories incorrect. Apparently, there had been something more important that friendship. We rallied around Bella after Edward was gone. We were all hurting at the unexpected loss, but our pain didn't measure to the pain she was feeling, so we didn't let it show. Instead, we showed her that she still had us and that our love, our friendship, mattered.

If someone, namely Bella, didn't start talking soon, Rosalie was going to speak up. I could see the words scratching the back of her throat in the silent room. And once she'd started, there'd be no turning back. She'd yell and bitch and scream and Edward would probably leave the room crying.

Definitely not what any of us needed right now.

Telepathically, I tried to will Bella to talk. Come on, tell us why you left the room. Tell us why he's back. Tell us what you're thinking.

But, as always, Bella hid her emotions, her face a perfect blank slate.

"So Edward, you back for good? Or are you leaving us again?" Emmett asked. The guy might have lacked tact but he certainly knew how to get the job done.

Before answering, Edward looked to Bella. She, however, did not give him the sign she was looking for. We were all studying every inch of their body language, some clue as to what had happened in that room while we were all out here. They'd been alone for over an hour. Not enough time to hash everything out but too much time for nothing to have been said. But that's what it looked like to me – as though nothing had been said.

The tension and worry was apparent in every move Edward made. And Bella didn't look any better. It was obvious that whatever he'd come here to tell us, or to tell us, he hadn't said yet. But Alice had told me that he came back for Bella. If that were true, why were they out here talking to us?

"I…uhhh…Bella?" Edward stumbled over his words. While Edward had always been quieter, I'd never seen him at a complete loss of words like he was now.

Bella didn't say a word to him, but she did raise her head and meet his gaze. If she tried talking, I'm sure her voice would have betrayed her. She was trying so hard to stay calm and in control. Just like she had all these years, she was trying to hide how much he affected her.

"Bella," Edward pleaded quietly, trying to have a private conversation with four unwanted pairs of ears listening.

"Just say whatever it is you have to say, Edward. Please." Her exasperation and desperation was evident. She wanted this to be over.

He waited for her to look at him again, but she was concentrating on the floor.

"I…Bella, please? Can I talk to you?"

Bella was quiet now and we all waited for her answer. She wanted to talk to him, but would she?

Rosalie saved Bella from answering by interrupting the stilted conversation.

"Obviously, she doesn't want to talk to you. So just say whatever it was you came to say." Surprisingly, Rosalie's tone wasn't bitter like I'd been expecting.

Edward tensed at the hint of the fight I'm sure he was expecting from Rosalie. Before speaking, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, calming himself. He really wanted this to go smoothly. He opened his eyes again and looked around the room. He made eye contact with us everyone, except Bella who was still studying her shoes, before saying another word. "I owe you all an explanation and an apology, especially Bella. I know that I do. But if you don't mind – if Bella doesn't mind – I'd like to speak to her alone first."

In unison, our heads all turned to Bella. Whether she was ready for this or not, she needed to give him an answer. Now.

She spoke carefully, looking up but not really meeting Edward's eyes. "You said you came here to explain. So explain – to all of us. You don't owe me anything special." It was the most words I'd seen her mutter since this sordid affair started, but she couldn't keep her eyes up all the way through. She'd never been a good liar and it was painfully obvious now that her words were not indicative of her true feelings.

"I don't agree with that. Not all, Bella," Edward said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. His hands were clasped tight in front of them, his knuckles turning white from the pressure. Regardless of the time and distance, he hadn't changed. He was fighting the urge the run his fingers through his hair, but it already looked like he'd done enough damage today. His normally casual 'do was in complete disarray, strands were sticking up at odd angles across his entire crown. One chunk was pulled forward over his forehead, hanging in his eyes while another was pulled straight out past his ear, looking very much like Albert Einstein.

Bella looked like she was about to crumble from the pressure being placed on her shoulders. These were the exact words she'd waited five years to hear and now that she was hearing them, she didn't know how to respond. I doubted any of us really expected this day to ever come. Or at least, we thought we'd be warned.

After the resounding silence that followed his words, Rosalie interjected again. And this time, she was annoyed. "Just spit it out already, Cullen."

Edward looked like he'd been slapped. He'd been expecting a challenge, he'd shown that already, but he was also expecting a chance. And whether he deserved one or not, whether we owed it to him or not, I wanted to hear him out. And whether everyone else wanted to admit it or not, they did, too.

"Rose," I warned.

"What, Jasper?" she bit at me.

"Let him talk. Give him that much," I requested.

"Why should I? We don't owe him anything!"

"No, we don't. You're right. But can you honestly say that you're not the least bit curious?"

Rosalie was vehemently protective of anyone she cared about, especially ones who couldn't, or wouldn't, stick up for themselves. Essentially, that list included everyone by her unparalleled standards. But she was so closed-minded. She was choosing to forget all the years Edward had been with us, all the years we'd been complete, all the years he'd made Bella happy. Couldn't she see we were better off with him? Didn't she realize he'd been with us far longer than he'd been away?

In the end, her curiosity won. Without another word, she turned and looked at Edward, allowing him to speak.

"I…I'm moving to Chicago."

"Chicago?" I asked. "As in, the city we're in right now, Chicago?"

"The one and only," he answered with a shy smile and a shrug.

"Welcome home, buddy!" Emmett yelled, standing up and pulling Edward into his arms. "Good to have you back, my friend."

Apparently, forgiveness was that easy. For Emmett, at least.

Edward laughed as Emmett set him back down on his own two feet. His words were almost a whisper; he didn't want to jinx anything. "Thanks, Em."

Everyone else sat in stunned silence, not knowing how to react. Next to me, Alice was remarkably still. She hadn't said a word since we'd sat down as a group, although she'd explained the situation to me before when I walked in. Had she known this whole time that Edward was planning on returning?

"I know that's not an explanation, or an apology but I wanted to be honest with you all up front. I didn't want to keep that from you. I want you all to be apart of my life, I want to be a part of yours." His eyes were focused on Bella but his words were meant for everyone. "I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry I was gone for five years. I'm sorry for so many of the things I've done. There is a lot that I wish I'd have done differently. I –"

"Where the hell were you, Edward? Where did you go? Why did you leave?" I knew Rosalie wouldn't stay silent for long. I was almost thankful for her interruption; these were the questions we wanted answered. These were the answers we needed.

He looked to Rosalie, pleading with his eyes. He looked back to Bella and waited.

"Why can't you just answer us, Edward?" Rosalie asked.

"Rose," I warned again, louder this time.

"Rosalie, I wanted –," he started to answer, but Bella interrupted him.

"Stop. Everyone, just stop." Her voice was loud and clear, her eyes alert as she looked around the room to each of us.

Next to me, Alice tensed. I grabbed her hand and squeezed, giving her reassurance. Bella was always a wild card to Alice, always proving that we couldn't predict her behavior to any situation. I know Alice wanted this to work out, she cared so much for both Bella and Edward; she only wanted them both to be happy, and she felt they'd be happiest together, with us. Bella's jaw was set tight and her eyes were lit with a newfound determination. No longer would she appear to be weak.

"Edward, please, just explain to everyone." While she wasn't short with him, her voice did lack the patient quality it usually possessed.

"Bella, won't you let me talk to you?" Again, the rest of the room fell away when he looked at her, pleaded with her.

"Yes, Edward, but after. So, please, tell us: where have you been the last five years?" Bella brushed the hair back from her face, tucking it neatly behind her ears as she leaned against the couch cushions. Her body was trying to show that she was comfortable and relaxed in her own home, but through the yoga pants she was still wearing, I could see the tense muscles of her legs straining against the tight, black fabric.

"What do you know, Bella?" Emmett asked. "What did he tell you?"

"Nothing, Emmett. I know only what you know. I wouldn't let him tell me anything else aside from moving to Chicago. I'm not the only person in this room that Edward wronged. You all deserve an explanation just as much as I do." She looked back to Edward and raised her eyebrows, giving him the signal to begin.

"Fine." Edward cleared his throat to begin then looked back to Bella. "I'll explain where I've been, but there are certain things I specifically want to say to you, without an audience."

"Get on with it already, Edward," Rosalie encouraged. I watched Emmett raise her hand in his own and bring it to his lips. With a gentle squeeze, he set it down again against his leg. As much as we appreciated Rosalie's blatant honesty, there were times when it was uncalled for. For those times, Emmett certainly had his ways of reminding her, which were much nicer than the rest of ours.

Edward looked so uncomfortable, sitting in the plush recliner. His head was bent and he scrubbed his hands roughly over his face. His right hand pulled through his hair as his left rubbed the back of his neck. For a moment he didn't move; he merely sat supporting his head and neck as he gathered his thoughts.

I felt for the kid – I couldn't help myself. God only knows where he's been the past five years, but I knew it wasn't with his family or with those that he loved or that loved him. My heart couldn't help but break for him and I wanted to help him out. If this wasn't going the way he'd hoped, the least I could do was help make it a little easier.

The last time I had seen Edward was just over five years ago. Our college graduation had been only days before and our families, who'd flown in for the ceremony, had left that morning. I'd spent the day at the girls' apartment, helping Alice pack up the majority of her closet so it could shipped out in the morning and be in Chicago when we arrived over the weekend. Bella, who had few material possessions, insisted everything would fit inside her truck for the drive west and, instead, wanted to spend the time with Edward since he would be starting classes almost immediately after our arrival. She knew they would have considerably less time together once he was officially a medical student and wanted to make the most of their lack of obligations at that current moment.

Emmett and Rosalie were flying to Forks in the morning to spend more time with their families before moving to Chicago. They'd both landed jobs in the Windy City and wouldn't be able to make it home as often as the rest of us, who were merely attending more school. It was our last official night together in the town that had served as our haunting ground the past four years and we'd declared to live it out in style. Separately, we'd spent our day as we saw fit, but that night, together, we'd partake in all our favorite activities, including a midnight dip in the quad's famous fountain to say "goodbye" to our beloved Alma Mater. It was the same way we'd said "hello" all those years ago.

But Edward had different plans.

I was strapping tape across the flaps of the third box filled with shoes when Rosalie walked through the door and flopped onto the couch.

"Where's Emmett?"

She shook her head, "Bothering Edward and Bella."

I shot her a questioning look but turned back towards the box when Alice walked in the room so it wouldn't look like I was slacking off. Alice took this packing business very seriously.

Rosalie laughed at Alice as she swatted my hands away, marking the box in her own distinct handwriting. "They're downstairs, in his car. I told Emmett to leave them alone, that they were probably getting it on in the backseat before they spent the rest of the night with us, but it only seemed to encourage him more."

Just then Emmett, looking as though he'd seen a ghost, came barreling through the door. After a quick look over his shoulder to make sure no one was behind, he shut the door and stood facing the rest of us. "We have a huge problem."

"Didn't like the peep show, Em?" Rosalie teased.

"Emmett, what's wrong?" Alice asked as I stood up, asking the same question. Emmett was not easily fazed and whatever this problem was, it had his entire self in knots.

He looked behind him again, staring at the closed door for a second. Moving closer, he put his ear to the door then looked through the peep hole before facing us again.

"Who are you looking for?" Rosalie asked, realizing there was something more serious going on. "Emmett, what's going on?" She led him over to the couch and took his hands in hers.

His breathing was erratic and he couldn't calm himself.

"Did something happen with Edward and Bella?" I asked, moving closer to him.

Emmett could only nod his head and stare at Rosalie.

Alice left my side and skipped over to Emmett. She took his face in her petite hands, not even covering his cheeks, and turned him so he faced her. She brought her right hand away from his face and then sharply slapped it across his cheek.

Emmett's eyes closed and then opened, refocused. "Thanks," he muttered. "I needed that."

"You're scaring me, Emmett," Alice said as she sat by my side. "What happened to Edward and Bella?"

"Nothing happened _to_ them, not exactly. Well, actually, I guess you could say something happened to them now. I doubt everything's –"

"Emmett!" Alice shrieked.

"Sorry, sorry."

"Just tell us what happened," Rosalie encouraged.

Emmett turned to face Rosalie, finding it easier to speak only to her rather than all of us then. "I was going to sneak up on them, you know, give 'em a hard time for making out in the car like sixteen year-olds. I was crouched real low, I was going to jump up and surprise them through the window, except they weren't in the backseat. Then I listened for a second and I heard Bella crying. Crying and yelling, but I couldn't make out a word she was saying. And Edward was just sitting there, taking it. He was gripping the wheel so tight, staring straight ahead. He wasn't even looking at her." His voice faded as he shook his head, trying to dispel the images I guessed.

"Why was Bella crying?" I asked.

"Edward's leaving," Alice said quietly.

"What?" Rosalie and I spit out, turning to the small girl at my side.

"What do you mean 'leaving'?" Rosalie asked.

"He's not coming to Chicago with us," she said, as though that were enough of an explanation.

"How long have you known about this, Alice?" I asked.

"I didn't. I kind of just realized it now. It all just makes sense now."

"What makes sense?" Rosalie asked. "Emmett, is that true? Did you hear either of them say that?"

Emmett nodded. "Bella asked when, once she was calm enough. Edward said first thing in the morning."

"Alice?"

"Think about it. He's been so distant lately. He doesn't participate in conversations about Chicago; he's hardly mentioned anything about Northwestern. He's depressed and there's no reason for a recent college graduate – one about to start med school and move to a new city, where his family and friends will be, not to mention his girlfriend – to be like that. It just makes sense."

"But why? And where's he going?" I asked.

"I don't know," was her only response and she melted into my side. I pulled her closer, holding her tight, showing her I wasn't going anywhere. Our entire world was falling down around us; we didn't know how to exist without every part of us present.

"That's not all," Emmett said next, breaking the silence that had fallen over us.

We turned and looked at him expectantly. His words were caught in his throat. "They…he…Edward…they broke up. He said he didn't love her."

No one knew what to say. No one knew whether to believe him or not. It was impossible – if any of us belonged together, it was those two. We just stared at Emmett, not wanting to shoot the messenger, but desperately needing to take our rage out on someone.

The door opened and Bella walked through. Her presence alone with all the confirmation we needed. Her body was on autopilot as she dropped her purse on the floor and walked into her room, not even bothering to shut the door behind her or look at any of us. Alice followed quickly behind her, not glancing in Edward's direction as he followed Bella's path. Rosalie jumped up immediately, not allowing him to get any closer to Bella. I slipped into Bella's room quietly, not wanting to hear Rosalie's tirade or Edward's explanation. Emmett stayed on the couch, torn.

None of us had even given him a chance to explain that night. By the time, I came out of Bella's room when she was long asleep in Alice's arms, he was gone. Bella never spoke of him to the rest of us again and although Alice knew his general whereabouts from her family, she never said more to us than we asked for, which was very little.

We'd been quick to judge before. We'd been too hard on him back then and it had taken its toll on him over the course of the last five years – that much was clear. We owed him a chance now.

"You went to med school?" I asked, pulling myself from the past. I felt Alice squeeze my knee in thanks. She wanted this to work out, probably more than any of the rest of us, but she couldn't play sides. Her natural tendencies to push everyone in the right direction would not go over well now and she knew that.

Edward looked up at me, smiling in appreciation. He nodded, "I did. Instead of Northwestern though, I attended Columbia University's Medical Center.

"I want you to know, that I never lied. I'd had every intention of attending Northwestern. I changed my mind about two months before graduation, and I didn't know how to tell you. I kept avoiding it, until I couldn't any longer. I hated myself those last two months at Dartmouth, knowing I was deceiving you all, knowing that the day was quickly approaching when we would take our separate ways."

"Why?" Emmett asked, interrupting. "Why not Northwestern? Why Columbia?"

"An opportunity arose that I couldn't turn down," he answered truthfully, dropping his eyes. "I'd always been inspired by my father's work in underdeveloped countries, providing care and medicine to those in the most dire need. Carlisle thought I would follow in the footsteps he left for me, which meant partaking in that work later on in my career. I'd never given it anymore thought than that either."

It wasn't that Carlisle had been particularly tough on his son, but Edward had always worked so hard to prove himself – to everyone. He never believed he was good enough for anything he received, earned or not, in life. Whereas we'd all done well enough to gain admittance to Dartmouth, Edward had been the studious one of the group. His academics, his career, his future always came first. He struggled so much to balance everything, never wanting to disappoint anyone.

"I met an old friend of my father's, Dr. Eleazar, during that spring of our senior year. He was from D.C. and was at Dartmouth to give a presentation. My father had worked with him in Africa and when he learned about his visit north, Carlisle insisted on setting up a meeting. Dr. Eleazar had just taken a new job the year before at Columbia University's Medical Center.

"Unlike my father, Dr. Eleazar's entire career was devoted to helping those underdeveloped countries. He was truly inspiring. Every conversation we had that week, I walked away truly questioning everything I thought I believed in. He was opening to hearing my opinions on everything, whether that was a courtesy due to his friendship with Carlisle or not, I'll never know. Regardless, he really listened when I said I had the same hopes to make a difference in the world, to help those that couldn't get help elsewhere."

Edward's eyes were unfocused, looking past all of us as he remembered that time in his life. He'd always had such a passion for helping others, instilled from his father's compassion for humanity. His words were much more confident now and I couldn't doubt the vigor he held. Whatever his choice had been, he truly believed he was making it for the right reasons. Not a hint of regret seeped into his words.

"Dr. Eleazar offered my admittance to Columbia along with the opportunities to travel as a student to the countries we spoke of, to start making a difference. It was an opportunity I could not pass up. Carlisle was not happy, though; he'd been looking forward to having me at Northwestern, then as an intern. He'd wanted us to work together. It had always been what I thought I'd wanted, too, until it wasn't." He was quiet as he let the weight of his words sink in. Purposely, I could tell, he left out any mention of us. I imagined that was one of the things he wanted to talk about with Bella privately.

"What about after med school? You graduated last year?" I asked, before Emmett or Rosalie could jump in and redirect.

Again, Edward thanked me with a grin. "I joined the Peace Corps."

"The Peace Corps?" Rosalie asked, incredulously.

"Yes," Edward said, nodding his head. "I'd already done a lot work in Africa as a medical student, but I felt like there was so much more that I could still do as a doctor. I joined the Peace Corps immediately after graduation, trained and left at the end of last summer. I signed on for only a year at first, with the option of extending beyond if I wanted. In fact, in May, I started filling out the paperwork to extend my time. I couldn't believe I thought I could make a big enough difference in just a year; I didn't think, I still don't, that my entire lifetime is enough."

"But you're moving to Chicago now?" Emmett asked, wondering if he'd missed something. "You decided to come home?"

"Right."

"Why?" The question came from Bella now, and it shocked us all. She'd been quiet throughout all of Edward's explanation, barely even looking at him. Edward, true to his word, said what he needed to say, focusing on sharing the details of where he'd been but nothing more. Now that Bella was inquiring, I could see his resolve start to crumble as he focused solely on the girl he'd love for so long. His eyes betrayed any words his mouth had uttered in the past; he loved her.

It took her another moment to repeat her question, but when she did, we were all aware of its weight. It was a simple word, but it mattered so much. "Why?"

"You, Bella. I'm coming back for you." He seemed to remember that Bella wasn't the only person in the room. "For all of you. Emmett, you said it right. I'm coming home."

I watched Rosalie's mouth gape open and then shut as Bella spoke.

"Home?" she asked, confused.

Edward nodded his head.

"Home?" she repeated. "This is home?"

"Yes. Home is wherever you are."

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­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­**A/N: Again, sorry for the delay. I promise, I'm not giving up so please be patient!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Sorry for the delay again, guys. Life is just really crazy and writing has taken a backseat. I'm trying my best though, so just bear with me.

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**Say It Ain't So**

**- 6 - **

**Emmett POV**

Time passed slowly as everyone thought about the depth of Edward's words. It made perfect sense to me; I didn't understand why everyone was having such difficulty with this.

Well, that's not exactly the truth. I knew why Bella was having such a hard time.

Edward had not only broken her heart but taken it with him when he left. And now he was back. For her. But did that mean he wanted her back? He hadn't said it in those words exactly, but there existed no dynamic within our group where Edward and Bella weren't together. It wouldn't work.

If Bella didn't take him back, then our group couldn't expand to include Edward. Was that the holdup? Was everyone worried that Bella would turn him down? Or did they just not want Edward around anymore?

Rose was mad. I knew my wife well enough to realize this wasn't just about Bella for her. Of course, she was angry that Edward had treated the Bella the way he did, but there was more to it. Rosalie felt personally betrayed that Edward would take the existence our friendship, the well-being of our family, and throw it out the window like it didn't matter to him anymore. She wasn't just worried that Bella wouldn't accept Edward's apology; Rosalie didn't know if she could forgive him, too.

Bella's eyes were on Edward, just like his were on her. They were only vaguely aware of the rest of us, only enough to know they couldn't speak freely. They needed to speak privately. But were they ready? Bella's eyes were on fire. Misunderstanding and resentment flashed through the deep brown and her cheeks with flushed with anger.

I wasn't worried that she wouldn't take him back. They belonged together – of course, it would work out. I was worried that Bella wouldn't say the right thing. Edward had hurt her and after five years, she still carried that hurt with her. Knowing her as well as I did, I knew she wanted to make him hurt as much as she did. She couldn't allow him to think what had been done didn't matter. But would Edward take her back after all was said and done?

He didn't deserve the punishment. He shouldn't have to repay his debts to us forever. We needed to forgive him and move on. After all, he belonged here, with us. Simple as that. Easy as pie.

Pie.

I was hungry. Mexican Monday had been postponed. Indefinitely, it seemed. My stomach rumbled at the thought of what I should have been eating at that exact to me, Rosalie shut me death glare.

Apparently, I wasn't supposed to be thinking about food at a time like this.

I shrugged, offering a bit of a pout, hoping my beautiful wife would take pity on me. She rolled her eyes, officially giving my permission to be hungry.

Perfect.

I looked around the room and wondered if anyone else was hungry. They were all still staring at each other. And by that, I mean Bella and Edward were still staring at each other. Rosalie was watching them, looking back and forth between the two, curious as to who would break first. Alice had her eyes closed and was leaning back against Jasper, who's head was titled back. His eyes focused on circular movements of the wooden fan above us, as though he was trying to lose himself in it. He could have been sleeping though; I probably wouldn't have known the difference.

We weren't getting anywhere.

Suddenly, I had the solution.

"Who's hungry?" I asked, standing up. Rose immediately tugged against my hand. I squeezed hers gently, asking her to trust me, before I let go. Her hand fluttered back to her lap and her eyes never left me. She was wary. "Come on, Edward; let's go pick something up for everyone."

At first, it didn't even look like my words had registered to anyone besides Rosalie. But then, Bella's eyes dropped and sat back against the couch, mimicking Jasper. Silently, Edward stood and followed me out of the apartment.

Neither of us spoke until we were out of the building and crossing the street at the next block.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"Tijuana Ranchero," I answered as we climbed the stairs to the L station.

Not another word for the next twenty-five minutes, while we switched lines twice and walked the remaining few blocks to the restaurant. Once inside, I led Edward to a private table towards the back.

The manager immediately saw me and made started on his way over to our table. I caught his eye over Edward's shoulder and shook my head roughly. I held up two fingers and watched as he walked back towards the kitchen. He said something to one of his employees, who then went behind the bar. She grabbed two bottles of beer from the cooler underneath and cracked the caps off.

Neither of us said a word as she brought the drinks to us and set them on the table. She opened her mouth, I'm sure to ask if I wanted the regular order, but before she could utter a word, I shook my head again.

I took a long draw then watched Edward do the same.

"It's Mexican Monday," I said.

"Excuse me?"

"Mexican Monday," I repeated. "Every Monday that we've been in Chicago, we've come here. Even though we weren't going to be coming here tonight, it was going to be our first Mexican Monday after the summer. Rose and I were going to have everyone over for Mexican."

"Congratulations," Edward said. "On your marriage. I never got the say that before. I'm sorry I couldn't be there."

"You don't have to apologize, Edward. As great as it would have been to have you there, I understand that you weren't ready to come home."

"And thank you for today, too. For forgiving me so easily." These words were hard for him to say; he looked down and studied the table while speaking. He took another sip of his beer before looking at me.

"There was never anything to forgive you for. Sure, I wished you'd hung around, but you were only doing what you thought you needed to do. You could have handled things better, but you were young – you didn't know any better."

"When did you get to be so smart?"

"It's been five years, Ed. Didn't think I could mature in your absence?" I watched as annoyance flashed through his face. "Still hate that name? Some things never changed."

Just like that, we'd reverted back to our old roles. We shared a laugh before polishing off our drinks. Like magic, two new ones appeared in front of us, courtesy of the waitress.

Edward let out a long sigh as he picked up the full bottle. "I doubt everyone's going to be as understanding as you."

"Well, not everyone's as awesome as me," I said, very seriously. It was true.

"Good to know your ego has grown over the years." Edward sat forward in his chair. His elbows hung in the air as the edge of the table dug into the fabric covering his forearms. His fingers interlocked around the brown longneck.

I could have continued to joke with him, but I knew it wasn't going to help the situation any.

"You know why I brought you with me, right?" I asked.

"Because you want to prolong the inevitable."

"What's the inevitable?"

"Bella's not going to forgive me. She's going to ask me to leave – no, tell me. She's going to tell me to leave."

"Stop being so cynical. You don't know that's going to happen."

"What reason does she have to forgive me? It's taken me five years to forgive myself and swallow my pride." He was raising his voice, but luckily we were tucked in the back corner and no one was paying us any attention. He paused a moment before quietly adding, "I'm not exactly making this easy for her. I don't know how to make this easy for her."

"Edward, there's nothing more you can do. You made your case. Now you've just got to wait. But you need to let her think about it. You couldn't expect to have an answer right away; I knew you wanted one. If you sat there staring at her any longer, she was going to tell you to get lost. Give her time," I instructed.

"It's been five years – five years! It's hell knowing she's so close but I can't do anything. And I thought telling her was going to be the hard part."

"What is the hard part?" I asked.

"This. Being here, without her. Being anywhere without her. The entire trip home the only thing I could think of was seeing her again; I never let myself think past that. I knew what I had to do, I knew what I had to say and I knew she what her choices were: take me back or send me on my way. Either way, I would know how she felt. I never thought about this waiting, this suspense. Seeing her and not knowing." He let out another long sigh. "I love her, Emmett."

"I know you do. You never stopped." My voice was abrasive, accusing him for what he said all those years ago. I forgave him, but I still didn't understand why he'd lied.

"I thought I could, I thought I could convince myself that I'd moved on. As the years went on, it did become easier, but only because I was numb to everything around me. And then…" His voiced trailed off and my eyes filled with water. He rubbed at them roughly, scrubbing over his entire face, then ran his fingers through his hair, pulling roughly at the ends. "And then, I wasn't."

Something happened. There was a reason he was here now. He wasn't the same anymore.

"I can't survive without her, Em. What am I suppose to do if she says 'no'?" He didn't fight the tears this time, and only one managed to break free. It raced down his cheek and he made no move to brush it away.

"You said it before: this is your home. So you stay here and you wait. You wait until she's ready," I said adamantly. I wasn't letting Edward walk away again.

"What if she's never ready? What if she doesn't want to be ready? What if I can't undo what I did? This is all my fault."

I hit my fist against the table, successfully pulling Edward out of his daze. "First off, stop. Just stop. Don't let the waiting kill you. Thinking about every 'what if' isn't going to get you anything except a headache and broken heart. But you need to tell her this. Explaining where you've been the past five years is great, but you need to tell her how you feel."

"She won't let me."

"Yes, she will. This is a lot to take in; she needs time to wrap her head around it. But you need to tell her you love her, Edward. You need to tell her you never stopped. And she needs to believe you. She wants to believe you, but the truth is when you told her you didn't love her, you broke her. She's been thinking that your entire relationship was a lie. You need to convince her that it wasn't."

"I don't know how – wait, what? When did I say I didn't love her?" he asked, setting down his beer and staring me down.

"That night in the car, when you told her you were leaving."

"She said I told her that I didn't love her?" he asked. His eyes were wide and angry.

"She didn't say anything. She never told us anything about that night. Actually, she's never talked about any of it," I explained.

"Then how do you know what I said?"

"Because I was there, outside the car. I was going to sneak up on you but then I heard her yelling and saw you. You were just sitting there, taking it. You wouldn't even look at her! Then you told her you didn't love her anymore." How could he not remember that night? It was burned in my brain and I hadn't even meant to be a part of it.

"That's not what I said! I could never say that to Bella; I could never lie about my love for her." He pushed himself away from the table and looked away, disgusted. "Is that why everyone hates me so much? Because they thought I told Bella I didn't love her?"

"The words are irrelevant. What matters is that you lied to her. They're angry because you lied."

"I never lied to her. I would never, could never. You have to believe that." His green eyes bore into me and showed nothing but sincerity.

"Then what did you say?" Now I knew how Bella felt; that everything I'd thought for the past five years had been a lie.

"That I couldn't love her. I told her I couldn't love her anymore, because that was the truth. I was leaving, I wasn't right for her. She needed somebody who could be there for her. It was breaking my heart to leave her and I knew she was going to hate me for going. But I couldn't go on loving her, knowing that she wouldn't ever love me again. I couldn't allow myself to love her – not when it was only going to bring so much pain. I couldn't look at her because I wouldn't have been able to handle seeing the pain I was causing her. It was bad enough hearing it in her voice, hearing it in her cries. I let her yell at me because I deserved. I just didn't know I wouldn't be able to stop loving her."

He _couldn't_ love her? Not he_ didn't_ love her? Was there a difference?

"Did you explain that to her?"

Edward shrugged. "I thought so."

"Oh, god. Edward, I'm so sorry. I thought I heard you say you didn't love her. And I ran upstairs and told everyone, and – I'm so sorry. I never meant for it to get out of hand." I couldn't believe I was the reason for all the turmoil. If they all just understood what had really happened, then maybe no one would be this angry. But Bella had never corrected our anger. She knew we were mad at him for leaving, for hurting her – didn't she? Why hadn't she ever said anything about him, about that night?

"It's not your fault, Emmett. And it doesn't matter. It doesn't change the fact that I left, that I hurt her – that I hurt all of you. You should all be angry with me. I'll never blame you for hating me."

"We don't hate you. We just didn't know what to think. We didn't understand how you could just leave like that. But now I know, you were being so selfless. You were –"

"Selfless?" he laughed. "More like selfish. I was leaving to go do exactly what I wanted. I made the decision all on my own and didn't consult any of you. I barely even said goodbye, Emmett. I was a coward; I'm sorry."

"Like I said before," I said, flashing him a smile, complete with a dimple, "you never had anything to apologize for."

"Well I owe it to the rest, then," he said, giving me his own crooked grin.

"What do you say we get out of here then so you can tell them and get your girl back?"

Edward nodded as I stood up and told the manager I'd take the usual order along with a few other dishes. There would have been plenty of food for the six of us with our regular assortment, but my hunger had only expanded as I'd drank and talked to Edward.

It was time to dig in.

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**A/N: Bella's up next! But first, tell me what you thought. Did you love it? Hate it?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Here's what you've all been waiting for…Bella's POV. Enjoy…

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**Say It Ain't So**

**- 7 -**

**Bella POV**

My body was numb. I'd lost all feelings in my limbs. My feet were planted firmly on the floor, my elbows on my knees. I possessed enough of my mind to know that my back should have been killing me from the amount of time I'd been sitting in this awkward position, but I couldn't feel the spasms of the muscles. It was only physically that I felt numb. Oh, how I wished the deadness would spread to my mind. To my heart. But I held no control.

I sat still as a tingling made its way through my body. My feeling was returning. I dropped my head waiting for the ache in my back to overtake me. I wanted the pain. I needed the distraction.

Everyone around me sat in silence. I couldn't see them through the veil my hair provided. The dark brown blocked out so much light that, with the lack of noise, I felt like I was alone. I knew they were there, though.

When I looked up, I could see our reflections in the blank screen of the television. I was in the center but I hardly recognized the girl I saw in that place. It wasn't the woman I knew I was this morning. She was the heartbroken girl I'd been five years ago. She was the heartbroken girl I didn't want to be.

I couldn't stand to look at her. I couldn't stand to watch myself become her. Not again.

I was the center of everyone's attention. They were all looking at me. Alice's eyes were filled with pity and sadness. She knew this was necessary, no matter how much she hated it. There was no other way. Jasper was trying to console his love while he looked just as afflicted. Rosalie was seething with anger. I could almost feel the heat rolling of her body now that I'd regained my feeling.

I'd regained my feeling!

I sat straight up, quickly, slapping my palms against my thighs. I felt the pressure, but the fabric of my pants absorbed most of the shock. The pain wasn't enough to distract me. It was enough to capture everyone else's attention – even more so than I already had. They straightened, collectively, and held a bated breath while they waited for me to share my revelation.

But I couldn't. Would they understand? No, but it wouldn't stop them from trying. Eventually, easily, they'd accept it and try to hide their hurt. I knew them too well. Even in the catatonic state I used to live in, I saw their pain.

I'd always seen their pain, starting with the night Edward and I broke up. They'd felt betrayed – rightly so. I was put first so many years ago and they never got to grieve their loss. And here was the solution, the answer. The ending to their suffering.

The prodigal son had returned.

"I'm going for a walk," I lied. And they saw through it. Of course, they did; I was a horrible liar.

"It's kind of late, Bella. Do you think that's a good idea?" Alice asked. Bless her heart, she was going along with my lie while trying to talk me out of it.

"Where are you going?" Rosalie demanded. Oh, the subtlety.

"To clear my head." At least that was true.

"Where? I want a physical location, Bella." Rosalie grabbed my arm, anchoring me to the couch. I didn't have the energy to fight back. I didn't want them to hurt anymore. I wanted to erase their pain.

"Rose," Jasper begged. He wanted to ease the pain, too. Rosalie didn't remove her hand, but her grip loosened considerably.

"Just let me go," I said, standing. "I'll be back soon."

Hurriedly, I shut myself in my room to change. I need to get out of the sweaty work-out clothes. I traded my yoga pants for jeans, shoved my feet into flip-flops, too lazy for socks. I pulled off my top and stared into my closet. Lately, I'd taken time to put effort into my appearance, only because I knew it reflected better of myself. No one ever thought poorly of a person who liked they had their shit together. And my shit was together – for the most part. It was something I was working on. But how do I dress for this occasion?

In the bathroom, I splashed water on my face, brightening my color. I ran a wet washcloth over the bar skin of my torso, removing the sweat and cooling my body. Back in front of my closet, I pulled out one of my favorite shirts. Alice had bought it for me on our first post-catatonic Bella shopping trip. If my goal was to rid myself of that girl, I was going to need all the reminders I could get. The dark blue made my skin look even paler in comparison and I knew I needed to put some make-up on. I needed to be convincing. I needed to look like I knew what I was doing.

If I showed any indication that I was wary, my plan would backfire. He wouldn't help me. Not in the way that I needed him to.

After a swipe of mascara and a touch of concealer, I brushed on some bronzer, warming my skin. From floor, where I'd dropped my bag when I'd first seen Edward in my room, I retrieved my keys. I shouldn't need anything else right now; I wasn't going to be gone very long.

No one had even moved while I'd redressed. I didn't say a word as I walked out the front door. I was on autopilot, begging my body to return to its numb state. I didn't want to think about what I was doing. With every step, I drew closer to my destination and the realization of what I was asking set in. How could I ask this of him? After all that he'd done? He didn't deserve this.

But he didn't deserve what I'd done either. After everything that he'd given me, after all that he'd been to me, I couldn't bring myself to say a word in his defense. I betrayed him.

Just like I'd been betrayed. I hadn't trusted him with the truth when it mattered, just like I hadn't been trusted with the truth.

I owed him an apology. This could be the worst idea there ever was, but I would deal with that if – when – the time came. First, I needed to apologize. Then I could ask him to give me everything again.

There I was, standing on the busy Chicago sidewalk, looking up at the shining skyscraper.

"Evenin', Miss Swan," the doorman said, pulling my gaze down as he pulled open the door.

"Hey, Seth." He wasn't too much younger than me, but no matter how many times I'd ask that he call me Bella, he simply refused. Seth did as he was told which was treating guests with respect. Apparently, that included calling me 'Miss Swan.' Suddenly, I realized I'd left my cell phone in my apartment. I hadn't even called to check if he'd be home. What if he wasn't? What if he didn't want to see me? I asked, "Jake home?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'm sure he'll be glad to see you. He looked a little upset when he got back a few hours ago." Now that was not something I needed to hear. "Go right on up."

"Thanks, Seth." I didn't think Seth would call up to Jacob's apartment, but I didn't want to chance him getting warning. Willing the elevator to move faster, I repeatedly pressed the 'door close' button.

Underneath my light, hesitant knock, the door swung open.

"Come on in, Bella."

So Seth did warn him.

He was sitting on a stool at his kitchen counter, the paper opened to the sports section in front of him.

"Hey, Jake," I said hesitantly, shutting the door behind me.

"Bella."

Did he really have to make this harder than it already was? And awkward? We were best friends for Pete's sake! He wouldn't even look up from his reading to talk to me. Keeping my distance from him, respecting his space, I stood on the opposite side of the counter from him. I watched his eyes trail down the column towards the bottom of the page, figuring he'd set the paper down when he was finished. He didn't though. Instead, he turned the page and kept on reading.

"Jacob, look at me." I was pleading, but I didn't know any other way to do this.

Thankfully, he obeyed. His eyes defied his normally carefree demeanor. If looks could kill…

As we stared at each other, I watched shine come back to life, little by little. His body physically relaxed as his shoulders fell, his fists unclenched, his icy glare melted. The corners of his lips twitched, hinting at his brilliant white smile. It gave me hope that I could be forgiving, that all was not lost.

"Jake," I breathed. He was my favorite person in the world and in that moment, he returned to me. He could make me happy when no one else could. He could make me happy when situations deemed it otherwise impossible. I needed him to make me happy now.

Something snapped in his calm demeanor as soon as the syllable had left my lips. Once again, his shoulders tensed, his fists curled and his eyes threatened. He threw the paper onto the counter and left his stool. Holding onto it like an anchor, he calmed his trembling.

"Jake." This time my voice was stronger; me need was stronger.

"No. No. I can't do this, Bella." Jacob turned away from me, hanging his head. "I don't know what you want from me."

I couldn't answer that question, not yet anyway. I needed to apologize first.

Sensing my hesitation, he asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I had to apologize. I need you to know I'm sorry." Would he let me though? He still looked so angry.

"What do you have to be sorry about, Bella?" he asked with a laugh. He was being sarcastic, like usual. But unlike our normal playful banter, I wasn't being sarcastic, and I couldn't laugh at his antics. I didn't appreciate the spite. "You don't owe me anything. You all made it perfectly clear that I don't fit in – that I'll never fit in. You made it perfectly clear, Bella. I was only a place holder until your precious Edward came back."

Defeated, he sank into the plush leather of his couch. He pulled the pillow onto his lap, taking his anger out on the fabric.

"Jake, I'm sorry." I sat down on the other side of the couch. With one leg underneath my body, I turned to face him. "I never…"

"What do you want from me?" he interrupted. He was so sad, like a boy who'd lost his dog; Jake looked lost. He didn't want to hear my excuses; he wanted me to make him happy now. I would try because he'd do it for me in a heartbeat, but I wasn't sure I actually could.

"I'm sorry for what happened before, Jake. I really am. I was so overwhelmed by everything and I just couldn't handle it. It just seemed easiest at the time."

"So it was convenient to kick me out. I'm a big boy, Bella. I can handle the truth. You could have just told me you didn't want me there." His anger, which seemed to have dissipated while I apologized, was back.

"It wasn't that I didn't want you there. I just –"

"So you did want me there?" he asked, trying to break through my half-lies.

"I didn't know! Part of me wanted you there, because you make me happy. You would have helped me during all this. I would have had one person solely on my side. But at the same time, I didn't want you there. You were my replacement, Jake. But not in the way you think." I hurried the last part, but my words weren't quick enough. I saw the pain of realization in the look Jake gave me. He averted his eyes when he saw me watching him. Always looking out for me.

I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the telling of a story five years in the making. "After Edward and I broke up, I wallowed in self-pity. I couldn't believe how stupid I'd been. I was so sure that I'd just made the biggest mistake possible – letting him walk out of my life so easily. Then I got angry. I was trying to force myself to move on, to come to terms with the fact that I couldn't change what had been done. But I didn't know how to exist without him. I'd only ever known Bella and Edward – one entity. I didn't know how to be just Bella."

"Bella, you don't have to do this." Jake moved closer to me on the couch and took my shaking hands in his warm ones.

"No, I owe this to you." I waited until he nodded his head. "When I saw you in Forks, Jake, you reminded me of the girl I'd once been before heartache. You'd only ever known Bella, and I wanted nothing more than to be that girl again. And you let me. Being around you was so easy, you didn't fuss or worry about me the way the others did. You made me laugh for the first time after Edward left. You made me happy.

"All the success I've had with getting myself back together these past five years, I owe to you. You filled the void in my life when Edward and I broke up. I didn't want you to hear the things that were going to be said, because then I wouldn't be that innocent girl that you remembered from high school. You wouldn't be able to make me happy if you understood why I was sad." My voice trailed off, but I refused to let the tears fall. I rallied my strength to finish explaining. "I was so surprised when Edward showed up. I knew that one day our paths would cross again – whether he was coming back or I was going to him – but I always expected I'd have warning. It caught me so off guard. Jake, I didn't know what to do. I'm sorry I took the easy way out. I'm sorry I asked you to leave; I just didn't know what else to do."

The words seemed to sting as he took them in. The wheels in his head were in overdrive as he tried to make sense of everything. Once he seemed to have processed it, Jake squeezed my hands, grabbing my attention. "Bella, I'd do anything you asked me to, regardless. It doesn't matter why, you just have to ask."

"You only say that because you don't know."

"What don't I know, Bella? Tell me then!" He raised his voice but it wasn't due to anger this time. He was frustrated with me. He was tired of playing these games and I was tired of stalling.

"Edward never broke up with me, Jacob." That's it, just rip the band-aid off.

"What? Didn't he leave though? I thought you broke up when he left?" So maybe that technique wasn't the best way; it seemed to confuse Jake even more. I knew this conversation was going to be easier with him because he didn't have his own version of the story.

"No, no. I mean he didn't break up with me. I broke up with him." The words were alive now and I'd never again be able to deny their truth.

"Bella, I'm trying here. I'm really trying to understand, but you're going to have go slow. Start from the beginning, please?" Jake pleaded.

And so it began. Thousands of pounds had lifted from my shoulders now that the secret truth existed. I could handle telling the story from the beginning. In fact, it was the least I could do for Jake. First, I told Jake the events of the past few hours. I told him of Edward's change in medical schools, of his work in Africa, of his experiences in the Peace Corps. I spoke of the love that had been. I proclaimed that Edward truly meant the world to be because no one could love me like he could and because I could never love anyone like I could love him.

I exalted Edward until there were no more words, until Jake loved him, too. Then I said, "But I told him to leave. I broke up with him and told him to go to New York."

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**A/N: Love it? Hate it? Let me know!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Twice in one week??? Who would have thought! I was in such a state posting the last chapter that I forgot to mention that our time here is running out. We've got one, maybe two, more chapters after this, so enjoy it while you can. I'm just as anxious for you all the read this as you are so I won't delay any longer. Enjoy…

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**Say It Ain't So**

**- 8 - **

**Edward POV**

When Emmett and I walked through the door, the apartment was a bustle of activity. I was surprised by all the movement. It wasn't that I'd expected no one to have moved in our absence – I was glad they seemed to have gotten over their shock; I just hadn't expected the giddy atmosphere I walked into.

Music was playing through the speakers and Jasper was humming along as he poured drinks in the kitchen. Rosalie and Alice were shouting to each other from different rooms over the sound. By the clanking noise coming from the kitchen, I could only guess Alice was climbing on the counter to retrieve plates. For a moment, I let myself fall naturally into the happiness, as though this were a normal day, not my homecoming.

"Honey, I'm home!" Emmett bellowed, pushing past me. Rosalie got up from her post, kneeling at the coffee table she'd been clearing off, and met her husband halfway. They shared a loving embrace and passionate kiss as though they were still getting used to coming home to one another. It made my happy to still be bale to witness their early days of marriage.

"Oh, good! You're back!" Alice exclaimed as she carried the dishes into the living room. Jasper followed closely behind, hands full of drinks. They set the items on the now empty coffee table before making a second trip.

I didn't move from my spot by the door as I looked around for Bella, for the reason behind the light atmosphere. Surely, they wouldn't be this happy if Bella was about to send me on my way. In my absence, I assumed they'd talked about the situation and came to a resolution.

And I wanted to hear it. I was sick of waiting.

Rosalie took the bags of food from Emmett, who was actively trying to steal chips from one. She swatted his hand away before making a spread. While waiting for Alice and Jasper to return, they settled into what I assumed where their usual spots, sitting on the floor, leaning against the furniture.

"Of course, you went to Tijuana Ranchero," Jasper said with a laugh as he set down the glasses. "I should have known."

"Mexican Monday," Emmett offered with a shrug.

"You got that right," Jasper said, openly accepting his reasoning.

He took his spot opposite the table from Emmett and Alice settled in next to him before patting the ground between her and Rosalie. "Come on, Edward; it's time for Mexican Monday! Have a seat!"

This food better be damn good for how much of a fuss they were making about it.

I hesitated, waiting again for Bella to appear and give me the verdict. I couldn't help but feel as though I was an inmate on death row and this was my last meal without her here. On my way to the spot Alice had offered, I checked down the hallway that led to Bella's room. Maybe she'd decided to shower and change since she hadn't gotten the chance to after her yoga class.

Before climbing over the couples to wedge myself between them, Jasper mimicked my movements and checked down that hallway. Bella's door was closed and I couldn't see a light on beneath the frame. Jasper's eyes narrowed when he looked at me. Quickly, he nudged Alice to grab her attention and gave her the same confused look.

What did that mean? Where was Bella? Only one way to find out.

"Where's Bella?" I asked slowly.

Alice and Rosalie both turned their heads sharply towards me. Jasper closed his eyes, tilting his head back in what seemed like annoyance.

"What do you mean 'where's Bella?'?" Rosalie asked bitterly. Her harsh tone took me by surprise for a moment; I'd forgotten her ability to give others whiplash from her severe mood swings.

I froze.

If the answer was a simple, 'she's taking a shower,' Rosalie wouldn't have turned bitch in two second flat. They didn't know where she was.

Where was she?

Helplessly, I looked to Emmett, hoping he could enlighten me. Was I supposed to know something? His eyes held no solution; he shook his head and offered a useless smile. I looked at Rosalie, lost.

Where was Bella?

Thankfully, Alice jumped into the conversation before things could get out of hand – before Rosalie could inflict pain. "Wasn't she with you?"

"You guys saw us leave; it was just me and Edward," Emmett answered, losing patience. He was as sick of these games as I was. "Bella stayed here. You were on sitting on the couch when we left."

"She left though," Rosalie, turning toward her husband, explained. Her tone was softer now; amazing how Emmett could bring out that change. "She went after you. She didn't find you? Did she call you?"

"No, she didn't. I didn't get any calls." Emmett pulled out his cell phone to double check.

"She didn't go after them," Jasper answered. "She only said she was going for a walk – to clear her head."

"Where else could she have gone?" Alice asked. "What else does that mean?"

"I don't know." Again, Jasper closed his eyes.

"You let her leave?! You just let her go out for a walk at night? Are you all crazy? You don't even know where she was going! She could be anywhere now! Anything could have happened to her!" I was angry. Here I was so close to my Bella after all these years, so close to getting her back and they threw that chance on the train tracks. I couldn't lose her again before I'd even gotten her back.

"Hey, man. It's alright, I'm sure she's fine. We'll call her now, find out where she is. It's alright," Emmett calmed me. After leaving Rosalie's side, he led me to the plush recliner. I buried my head in my hands, feeling as though I could cry.

"We need to find her," I strangled out in my dry sobs.

"I'm calling her now, Edward. Don't worry, we'll find her," Emmett soothed.

He was sitting on the arm of my chair. He was so close, I could hear the tone of the keypad as he dialed. He was so close, I could hear the ringing through the speaker.

He was so close, I could hear the voicemail click on.

He was so close, I could hear Bella's prerecorded voice.

"You've reached Bella Swan; I'm not here right now. Please leave your name, number and a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks!"

She's not here right now - truer words had never been spoken.

He left a message: "Bella, it's Emmett. Just wondering where you are. Call me back as soon as you get this, alright?"

He tried again.

"You've reached -"

Her voice was calling out to me.

Again, "You've reached -"

"Jacob." It was just a whisper at first, but I still heard it. I could hear the hope in the words.

"Jacob. Call Jacob," Alice quietly demanded.

Emmett and Jasper exchanged a nod and as Emmett redialed, Jasper pulled out his own to dial Jacob's number.

I held my breath waiting for the verdict.

"No answer," Jasper declared before trying again. He shook his head, not wanting to say the words aloud.

Fear had settled in. Worry raked through my body.

I need Bella.

Where was she?

Eventually, Jasper gave up. Emmett kept on trying.

Minutes passed. What felt like hours passed. Attempts were made. The food long forgotten. Time and time again I heard Bella's voice through the phone.

Then there was a sound I welcomed more than those of my own heartbeat in that moment. The sound of a key in the door broke through the repetitive silence.

I was out of the chair before the others even turned their heads toward the door. I wretched the door open before Bella even removed her key.

"Bella! Are you alright?" I held the door open and pulled her inside.

Once the door was shut and locked, keeping out danger, I looked her over. The first thing I noticed was her clothes - she'd changed. There were no tears in her loose-fitting jeans; her feet hadn't the slightest hint of dirt. Her arms were crossed over her chest, but everything looked in tact. Not a hair was out of place as it hung around her face and shoulders.

Her face was strikingly beautiful. Her cheeks were flushed from the wind outside, but she looked strong. Her eyes determined, although a bit confused.

"Oh, Bella. Thank God, you're alright."

I pulled her into a hug; her body was rigid in my arms as I tightened my grip around her shoulders. "I'm so glad you're okay. I don't -"

"It's okay, Edward. I'm fine. Everything's fine," she said as her body relaxed and she wrapped her arms around my waist. One arm tightened around me, she looped it as far as she could, holding tight to my shirt. The other reached up to my shoulder as she rubbed calming circles over the tense muscles. "It's okay, Edward."

She held me tight against her body and I felt at home. Even after five years, we fit perfectly against each other's contours.

I don't know how long we stood there until we pulled away, all I know is that eventually we did. And it pained me to let go.

"What's going on?" she asked the others who were now standing behind us. The worry and fear I had just suffered was almost worth hearing the change in her voice and seeing the change in her appearance that clearing her head gave.

Rosalie looked sheepish as she responded. "When you said you were clearing your head, I thought you meant you were going to find Edward. And when he came back without you, we panicked. We tried calling your cell phone, but you never answered. We even tried Jake's, thinking maybe you went to see him or you talked to him, but he didn't answer either. We didn't know where you were."

"Oh, guys, I'm so sorry. I left my cell phone here. I didn't think I'd be gone very long. It's still in my room - probably on silent from yoga still. I'm so sorry." Red flushed her cheeks as she grew embarrassed by the situation.

"It's okay," I said. "You're back and you're safe, and that's all that matters."

For the first time in five years, Bella smiled at me. It was warm and thankful and loving and I was so happy to be on the receiving end. I couldn't help the crooked smile that spread across my own lips. She looked away to the forgotten food on the coffee table.

"Mexican Monday. Figures, Emmett," she said laughing. Music to my ears.

"What?" he asked, innocently.

"I'm glad. Did you guys already eat?"

"No," Emmett grumbled, remembering his rabid hunger. "We kind of lost our appetites in our worry."

To make a point, his stomach rumbled and the entire room broke into laughter. The tense atmosphere of the room subsided as everyone's spirits were lifted. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice resumed their spots around the table and immediately took up their own conversation, enjoying their Mexican Monday feast.

"Don't you want to eat, Edward?" Bella asked softly from her spot beside me.

"I'm not really hungry," I admitted.

"Can we talk?" she asked, dropping her eyes.

Even though she couldn't see me, I nodded my head.

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**A/N: Shortest chapter yet, but I think it'll work out better to split up Edward and Bella. Now, let me know what you thought – love it? Hate it?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: ****After writing and rewriting the conclusion over the past few weeks, I decided this isn't the last chapter. There are still too many loose ends that need to be tied. I'll warn you now, this chapter is a little heavy. Enjoy…

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**Say It Ain't So**

**- 9 -**

**Bella POV**

I felt the air in the room freeze as Edward and I turned down the hallway to my room. I didn't dare look back for I knew what I would see. Emmett's mouth wide open, food half-chewed inside as his eyes bugged at the sight of Edward and I retreating. Rosalie's arms tensed as she listened carefully for the first sounds of my heart breaking so she could be the first to reach the scene and administer the punishment she deemed appropriate. Jasper's eyes closed as he tried to prepare himself the onslaught of emotions that everyone was likely to express. Alice would have one of his hands in her tiny ones as she tried to convey that it wasn't his job to indulge everyone else's needs. Her eyes would be bright with curiosity and hope as she chewed the inside of her lip, attempting to keep her excitement at bay. She wouldn't dare say a word, afraid to throw off the balance that currently existed. She wouldn't put the possibility of reconciliation in jeopardy.

But then she surprised me.

"The queso's cold." I could hear the pout in her voice without looking. "Rosalie?"

It was genius. Rosalie, the self-proclaimed master of queso, now had a task that prevented her from shooting daggers at my and Edward's backs and Emmett was distracted by the mere mention of food. Jasper could relax and Alice could give her lip a much-needed reprieve.

My body went on auto-pilot as I pushed open the door to my room. I barely held it open for Edward as he walked in the room and sat down on my bed, as I heard from the distinct squeak of the springs.

"Bella," he called my attention away from the window.

"No, not yet." I shook my head before turning around. I took a seat, away from Edward because I didn't trust myself near him now. It was bad enough I could feel the magnetism from our distance; I didn't want to know what would happen when we were close in proximity and alone.

"I just…I'm so sorry, Bella. I can only imagine what I'm doing to you now, by just showing up. I'm sorry for putting you through even more than I already have."

"Edward, please. I just…need some time. To gather my thoughts; I don't know what to say right now. I thought I had figured it out but that was before I was sitting here with you, here in my room. Truth is I always knew we'd end up back here – together. I just never expected it to be you to come back. I thought I'd be the one to track you down, I thought I'd be the first to give in." More needed to be said, but I wasn't sure I was ready to give in to the power of those words.

"You really believed we'd find our way back to each other?" he asked with a smile.

I looked away before answering; his dazzling smile wasn't going to help my coherency. "Of course, I did."

"You thought you'd be the one to give in? But you wanted me to go, Bella. I don't understand." His smile faded as he words took a more serious turn. I ventured a look but he wasn't focused on me. His head was in his hands, fingers pulling at the ends of his hair.

"Not yet, Edward. I just…I need a minute to come to grips with reality right now."

He nodded his agreement, not really having any other choice. We sat in silence, separately thinking over the past few hours, the past five years, and our whole lives before that. Outside my door, I could hear voices rising. Apparently, Alice couldn't keep everyone distracted for very long. At least they weren't pressed against my door with glasses to their ears trying to make out our every sound. It sounded like an argument, or at the very least, a heated discussion, was about the break out, and, frankly, I didn't want the distraction. No doubt, they were arguing about something that concerned me and Edward.

Without a word, I grabbed a sweatshirt from my closet and pulled it on over my head as I shoved my feet into actual shoes. My frozen toes would have appreciated socks, but I couldn't be bothered. I felt Edward's eyes following my figure across the room, but I had now words for him. The curtain was still open and the black night was seeping into my room. Streetlights danced below, casting eerie shadows over the deserted sidewalks. Even in August, the middle of Chicago's summer, the wind chill at night was not braved unless necessary. Easily, I undid the lock on my window and began to push up on the large frame. As always, it stuck when it was halfway up.

It needed WD-40, I thought, and made a mental note to remember to fix it. Putting a little elbow grease into the task, I tried to force to window higher. Normally, I would manage to squeeze under the half-open frame, but I doubted that Edward's broader frame, coupled with his lack of practice, would fare as well. Strong arms were on mine in the next moment, easing me out of the way. Edward lifted the window the rest of the way without difficulty. With the grace and beauty I had tried so hard to forget over the past five years, he leaped over the window sill. With his arm outstretched towards me, he waited on the fire escape.

How could I have ever doubted that his lack of practice would prevent him from accomplishing any feat? He was brilliant, not to mention perfect.

As he helped lift me over the ledge, I couldn't help but meet his eyes and offer a smile of thanks. In a moment of tranquility, we stood there facing each other, reveling in the sensations of being so close. Like origins of wildfire, the places where our bodies met ignited a spark within me. The electrical current that had been dormant for so long warmed my body to its core.

The roar of a car's engine knocked us out of our reverie and hastily, we backed away from each other. Turning away, I began to climb the stairs to the roof. The elevator of our apartment building provided roof access, but it was often neglected by the other tenants. I knew we wouldn't be disturbed.

I could hear Edward behind me walking toward the opposite ledge. I was still trying to make sense of all my thoughts and I assumed he was as well. When I couldn't stall any longer, I turned toward Edward. He wasn't standing along the edge like I was, like I had been expecting. Instead, he was leaning against the wall of the elevator shaft, staring out over Lake Michigan. We weren't far from the water and although our building was towered over by most of its neighbors, right in between two of those monstrosities, one could see the moon's reflection over the glass-like waves of the water.

Surprisingly, the city seemed dark tonight; I could actually see the stars in the sky. Despite the obscurity of his surroundings, Edward was showered in light. One foot was pressed against the wall behind him and his arms were crossed over his chest. For the first time, I really took in his appearance since he'd returned.

In my mind, I always pictured him as the same young boy I'd known my entire life. But now, I saw that the innocence was gone. He'd matured into a man who'd experienced life, suffered heartache, seen destruction and reveled in beauty. His shoulders sagged under the weight of knowing what this world was really like. His angular jaw, sharp, high cheekbones and aristocratic nose all gave the impression of being in control, but the furrow of his brow and crease of his eyes spoke volumes against that. Edward had always done so well when it come to executing a decision. He was a quick thinker, able to make split decisions and follow through flawlessly.

But that was only when he was the only one making the decisions. Now, he was waiting on me. His fate was no longer in his own hands; he had no control over the outcome of this situation. It was up to me now.

I watched as he raised a shaky hand to his hair, pushing the strands out of his eyes and away from his forehead. He leaned his head back against the brick and closed his eyes in worry. I was compelled to move toward him. I wanted to take his worry from him, give his shoulders a break from the stress he was carrying. I wanted to see him smile.

He didn't look at me as I leaned against the pillar next to him. There wasn't but an inch between our arms as I faced the moon over Lake Michigan. I let out a deep sigh and gave into the magnetism that was pulling me even closer. There was no fighting it anymore; we were meant to be together. My head had barely touched the soft fabric against his shoulder than Edward moved his arm around me, drawing me in closer. I molded to his body, fitting just the same as I always had, wrapping my arm around his stomach to rest my hand on the opposite side of his waist.

"I missed you, Edward," I mumbled into his chest.

"You have no idea." He leaned down and pressed a kiss into my hair.

I looked up, needing to see those soft lips for myself. "Are you really staying?"

"Yes, Bella. I'm here for good – whether you take me back or not. I'm not going anywhere."

"This isn't going to be easy."

"I spent five years without you by my side. There's nothing in this world more difficult to endure than that, love. And I've seen some terrible things in my time." His eyes had been shining while he spoke to me, but at the mention of 'terrible things,' they lost their brilliance.

Tugging on Edward's body, we slid down the wall until we were sitting. Again, the silence washed over us as we thought about how far we'd come.

"Edward?"

He didn't say a word, but turned toward me, pulling away slightly so he could actually see my face.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked timidly, unable to meet his eyes.

"Of course. Bella, you can ask me anything."

"What happened in Africa? I know there's something you're not saying – something that made you come back now. What made you realize you wanted to be home?" I was literally watching his heart break as my words took on new life in the dark surrounding us. I cursed myself for daring to ask such a question. I didn't want to the cause for any more pain in his life – I'd already done enough damage. Quickly, I tried to rectify the situation, "I'm sorry. You don't have to answer that. You don't have to tell me."

"No, Bella. I want to tell you. I don't want to keep things from you." He smiled at me with the reminder of the promise we'd made to each other so many years before. He unwrapped his arm from around my shoulders and wrung his hands together. His eyes never left mine as he spoke. "I was in this war-torn village – nothing more than a mere collection of huts and tents. Somehow the people in this town, they managed to exist completely on their own. Like this independent community, everyone helping everyone. They made due as best they could with the things they had. On occasion, some of the men would travel, walk these immense distances, to the next town over to get whatever supplies were needed. Even though we were there, helping medical supplies and food, they wanted to be self-sufficient. But they couldn't. AIDS was so prevalent in that part of the country; nothing could be done about it. I think it was actually rarer to find someone without the disease."

He tore his hands apart, reaching over my legs where my hands lay folded in my lap. I held his hand between mine and gave a gentle squeeze as he continued. "Sometime during the first few days that I was in that village, this young couple came wondering through. They'd been traveling for weeks, I think – they'd completely lost track of time. But still, as we prepared them a warm meal and checked them over to make sure they were okay, they smiled and laughed with each other and told us their story. I can't remember the name of their town now, but it had been burned to the ground. They'd lost their entire families to the war; all they had was each other. They weren't mourning their losses though, they were celebrating their life. We all thought they were in shock over everything and were suffering from delirium because of how long they'd gone without food and water.

"It was times like that, when I saw people in love happy, regardless of their circumstances, that I really missed you, Bella. They had nothing but each other and they were happy. I had everything except you, and I was miserable. I tried so hard to not let it get to me. After all, what could I do? I was helping these people and they deserved the help. I didn't need to be happy."

I tried to imagine a broken Edward, sitting in a hot African desert miserable, but I couldn't. For as long as I'd known him, Edward had defined himself by how he treated others. He wasn't happy unless he'd done absolutely everything in his power to make others happy. It was the reason I'd told him to go to New York. Not because I didn't want him, not because I didn't love him, not because I wanted to break up, but because I couldn't forgive myself for taking away his purpose in life. If he hadn't have gone to New York for med school, he never would have had the opportunities to affect the world like he had. He never would have made this a better place if I was by his side. He would never have been truly happy because he wasn't doing everything he could to help others. I couldn't allow that to happen.

In the car that night, after our college graduation, his only response is that he only wanted to make me happy. I knew he was lying, I knew he was planning on giving up his life's dream to be with me. And that was something I couldn't allow. I didn't give him a choice; I told him to go.

And that's what I didn't understand now. I couldn't imagine Edward not being as happy as he was with me as he was when he was helping others. But here he was, admitting he was miserable? Telling me he didn't need to be happy? I needed him to be happy. If he wasn't happy during the past five years, then all of the heartache I'd suffered had been in vain. I thought I'd given up my happiness for his, but I'd really just given up both of ours.

"Akanke and her husband, Magoma, fit in with the others seamlessly. They were both so selfless; they did anything that was needed – no questions or complaints. Only a few days after their arrival, a group of men decided to go on an excursion. Akanke and her husband had spoken of an abandoned town not very far and the others wanted to see if there was anything salvageable to bring back. Magoma insisted on going because he knew the way and had been there not long ago, even though we urged him not to. We didn't know how much more his body could take. He wanted to do his part to contribute to the community that had so easily accepted him and his wife.

"On the day they left, Akanke tried to busy herself so she wouldn't be consumed by her worry. She accompanied me that day, helped me complete all my work. I warned her to be careful, that she could get sick from the others because her immune system was already compromised. She just waved me off, told me it wasn't something to be worried about. While I attended to the sick children, she told them stories, played with them, made them laugh. I was always amazed and surprised by the ability these people had to love one another and be happy. Just because they were sick, or just because they'd lost their families or friends….anything – of course, it affected them, but they never let it consume them. At the end of the day, while the others were sleeping, I was sitting outside my tent, just watching the stars. I don't know why, but it had been a particularly hard day for me. I think it was seeing Akanke still be so happy while her husband was away."

Edward pulled his hand from mine and ran it through his hair, leaving both his hands to rest on the back of his neck. Tilting his head down, he massaged the skin there and tugged on the ends of his too-long hair. His forehead rested on his bent knees when he turned his face toward me and continued his story with his eyes closed.

"I heard the coughing first. It was incessant and sounded painful. I got up to bring water to whoever it was and to make sure they were okay when Akanke came out of her hut. She was surprised to see me, but took the water and sat down with me. She asked what I was doing awake when everyone else was asleep. I told her that I just wasn't tired. She gave me this knowing nod and took my hand in between hers. Her hands were slick with sweat and hot, and considering the coughing, I was immediately worried. I tried to ask if she was feeling ill, but she ignored my question. Instead she closed her eyes and tilted her head back, as though she was basking in the sun even though there wasn't even any moon light – it must have been a new moon. Very quietly, she started telling me that it was perfectly natural to feel sorrow about all the sick children, but that I had to try to not let it get to me. I sat staring at her in confusion, and she tried to reassure me that I was doing all that I could to help them – that I couldn't beat myself up over things I had no control. She said, 'You've done your best.'"

Edward stopped for a moment, his breath coming ragged as the painful memories flooded his mind. I was so lost in the story that I barely registered the pause at all. His eyes were still closed but he turned his head away from me. Moving closer to him, I placed my hand over his on his neck. I wanted him to know I was here, that I was listening – that I would always be here, that I'd always listen.

"At first I just laughed. I couldn't believe what she was telling me. I didn't know where these words were coming from, but that didn't matter right then. I told her that there was always more that could be done. No one should ever settle for their best when better can always be done. When I'd finally calmed down, I told her that I've learned to not feel sorry for these children because they don't feel sorry for themselves. They've learned to rejoice in the life they have left, and I've learned to rejoice the life they choose to share. Akanke laughed and said there was no reason for me to be sad then. I merely scoffed at her words. She was asking me to be happy when there were so few things right in the world. She patted my hand and started to speak but a coughing fit took over her body. I helped her back to her hut and to bed before she could say anything more.

"The next day Akanke was sluggish. I tried to get her to lie down and let me look over her, but she refused. She simply said that the long journey must have caught up with her. I made her promise to take it easy that day. She did no manual labor and instead just sat with the children again and played. I noticed, though, that her smile wasn't as bright, her laugh not as joyous. I waited up for her that night. I wanted to make sure she would get to sleep okay. I didn't have to wait long before I heard her coughing. I sat with her all night as the sickness took all her energy from her. And so the next few days continued. I managed to convince to stay in bed but she refused to let me examine her or give her any medication. She told me to save it for the others. I told her that she was sick and needed treatment, but she only refused more adamantly. She said the medication wasn't going to make a difference. 'What's done is done,' she said, officially ending any talk about medication. She'd made her decision and we couldn't change her mind. Day by day, though, she got worse. She spent the majority of the time unconscious, but I hardly ever left her bedside. If she woke up, if something happened, I wanted to be there. I wanted to help her. I had told her before, when she'd first refused treatment that I couldn't just sit back and watch her body deteriorate, but that's exactly what I ended up doing."

Edward stood up, brushing my hands from his and walked to the ledge of the building. Squatting, he rested his hands over the lip and balance precariously over the edge. Involuntarily, my body stiffened; he was too close to the edge. I opened my mouth to warn him to be careful, but his words came first.

"Her husband was gone; I refused to leave her alone. Her fever was high, she was coughing up blood, but she allowed me to do nothing more than help the water run down her throat." He was in doctor-mode now, completely in his element as he rattled off her condition. His voice was completely devoid of emotion, simply stating facts. By the end of his explanation, his voice cracked and he drew in a shaky breath.

I reached out for him, afraid of losing him because of poor balance, as he brought one of his hands to his face. It was several minutes before either of us moved, but at the same time we both stood. He turned toward me as I took my first step in his direction. His eyes were red, his hair a tussled mess and although he hung his head low, I could see the wet tracks the tears made on his beautiful cheeks.

"Edward," I whispered once we were mere inches apart. "I'm so sorry."

It wasn't enough but it was all I could give right then. Standing on my toes to make the most of my short stature, I placed my hands on either side of his face. I wiped away the offending tears as I felt my own threaten to fall. I couldn't stand to see him like this.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I whispered again, staring into the glassed over green of his eyes. I pulled him close and he buried his head in my neck as he let go of everything he was holding back. I was lost in the reality of feeling him in my arms, his heaving chest against mine, his hot breath fanning across my neck, his tight grip around my waist. It wasn't until I felt the moisture on my cheeks that I realized my own tears had started to fall.

It was the first time I'd truly let myself mourn my loss - the self-inflicted loss of sending Edward away all those years ago. I'd never let myself shed a tear because of his absence because it was my own fault. I had to deal with what I'd done.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, wrapped in each others arms. It could have been minutes, hours or merely seconds. All I know is that it wasn't long enough. It would never be long enough.

Edward was the first to pull away and he laughed as he looked at me. His musical laugh was a welcome sound and it lit the night around us. Even in the middle of the city, I could see the stars shining now.

"Why are you crying?" he asked through the laughter as he returned the favor of brushing my tears away.

More tears fell with the knowledge that he didn't understand. "You have no idea how sorry I am, Edward. For everything. I'm so sorry, so sorry."

Eventually, he stopped my words. He moved us back toward the elevator shaft and we rested against the wall much like we had before. Pulling his gaze away from mine, he looked out over the city skyline. "By the end of the week…"

"Edward, you don't need to keep going."

"I haven't answered your question yet. Just listen." He cleared his throat and continued. "By the end of the week, Akanke hadn't improved. But she hadn't gotten much worse; she was stable. For a few days, she remained in her semi-conscious state. She couldn't keep food down, couldn't swallow the water and still refused anything we could do for it. It broke my heart to literally watch her die. But then Magoma returned.

"Someone came to warn me that the men were returning; we didn't want him to see his wife like this without being prepared. When Magoma saw me instead of Akanke coming to greet him, his happy face fell. He didn't even ask; he just said, 'she's sick.' I asked how he knew and he told me it was AIDS. We went right to Akanke's bedside but she was asleep. While we waited for her to wake, Magoma explained his wife's condition to me. Ever since she'd learned she had contracted the disease, she'd refused all treatment and medicine for it. She knew in the long run it wasn't going to cure her. She knew it would only postpone death by a few months, that it wouldn't really improve her quality of life. She knew that there were children suffering from the same disease - children whose lives could be dramatically improved and lengthened by the same treatments and medicine.

"It didn't make sense to me then. It still doesn't make sense to me now. But it was her decision and I couldn't change her mind. I could only be there for her." Edward paused to steady his voice, trying as best he could to keep the tears at bay. "When Akanke say Magoma for the first time, it was like she wasn't even sick. Her whole face lit up and she sat up in bed and held him close. She told him how much she'd missed him, how much she'd loved him. Then she listened while he told her of the past week and the travels he'd participated in. And he told her, as though there were nothing wrong.

"I was so angry. I stormed out of the tent and walked to the edge of the village. I sat on the ground, hidden among the tents and trees and bushes and just looked out over the expanse of the desert country beyond. I'd never felt so lost and alone in my entire life. It was even worse than when I first left you, Bella," he said as he faced me. "No matter how much I'd tried to deny it, somewhere in the back of my mind, I'd held onto the hope that we would find our way back to each other and that things would return to the way they once were. But seeing Magoma and Akanke together, after all they'd been through, after all the love they'd shared, knowing she was moments away from death – it crushed me. The hope I didn't know I was holding onto shattered."

Edward turned away from me again and ran his fingers through his hair before pulling me against his side once more. His voice was devoid of emotion as he continued. "It was long after dark before I realized Magoma was sitting behind me. I didn't know how long he'd been there. In fact, we didn't speak a word as I followed him back to Akanke's hut. He motioned for me to take the seat next to Akanke's bed, while he stood by the entrance. She looked up at me, more alive than I'd seen her in days, and said there was no reason to be sad. She held my hand saying, 'Love has its place.' She repeated over and over again, 'Be your best, Edward. Be your best.' I knew there was another meaning to her words but I was too overcome with grief at the moment to think or question. She just smiled as Magoma took his place beside her.

"Akanke died that night."

Had I never been so assuming, had I never stubborn, if I'd only been more understanding, I could have saved Edward from this pain. But I had been and I couldn't. Nothing I did now would change the past. I could accept the things that I'd done, but I didn't know how to move on.

"That was two weeks ago. After burying her, Magoma found me sitting in the same place he had the night she passed. I was deciding how much longer I was going to stay with the Peace Corps, since there was nothing I believed in more at the moment than the fact that I could never do enough. I told this to Magoma, telling him I was doing it for Akanke, since she wanted me to do my best. He corrected me, reminding me that she said 'Be your best.' I didn't think there was a difference until he pointed that love, indeed, does have its place. And once it makes a home in your heart, you are empty without it.

"The last words he spoke to me before I packed my bag and made arrangements to come home were: 'the teeth are smiling, but is the heart?'"

* * *

**A/N: I warned you, it was heavy. Let me know what you thought! Most likely, there will be one more chapter plus an epilogue. If there are specific things you want me to elaborate on/clear up for the ending, let me know. I won't promise I'll include it, but I do want you all to be satisfied with the ending as well. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Life's crazy, and that's really all I can say. I'm sorry that there's been such a delay…thanks for hanging in there! I don't want to waste time, so here's the final chapter of **_**Say It Ain't **_**So. Please be sure to read my A/N at the bottom. Enjoy…**

**Say It Ain't So**

**- 10 -**

**Bella POV**

I sat in stunned silence as Edward's words echoed in the expanses of my mind. He'd gone through so much in the time we'd been apart. He'd grown, he'd matured. He'd experienced life. And I couldn't stop my heart from breaking all over again. It was as though the consequences of my decisions were finally catching up with me and sinking in.

I'd always imagined him by my side forever. I'd always imagined growing and maturing with him. I'd always imagined experiencing life together.

It was my fault that we'd lost five years. It was my fault he'd suffered. It was my fault I'd suffered.

I was the only person to blame.

The tears flooded my eyes. I tried to fight them, to hold them back, but my emotions were too strong, too out of control. Looking away from Edward, I tried to blink them back. I willed them to disappear. I couldn't hurt him anymore. I wouldn't hurt him anymore.

Suddenly, his hands were on my cheeks, lifting my face up. I held my eyes shut tightly as his calloused thumbs brushed the moisture off my cheeks.

"There's no need to cry, Bella," he whispered, placing a kiss on my forehead.

That's when I lost it. A strangled sob escaped my chest and I collapsed against Edward. I was fisting the fabric of his shirt in my hands, pulling and stretching, trying to anchor myself to him. He had to understand that I would never be without him again. I would never leave him again. I would never allow him to walk away from me again.

"Bella, love, it's okay," he tried to quiet me. The pain evident in his voice only compelled more tears to fall. "It's alright, Bella. I'm here."

He pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around me. My chest was tight; I couldn't get enough air in my lungs through my sobbing. Edward cradled me against his chest; he was my rock, the only thing keeping me sane. How could he be so strong right now?

Commanding every ounce of strength in my body, I willed myself to gain control. Slowly, the tears subsided and my breathing came easier. I stayed tucked into Edward's chest, safe in his arms, until I was sure my heart was stable. With one last deep breath, feeling calm as his scent invaded my senses, I pulled away and looked him in the eye.

"Edward," I started. I hesitated, then, unsure of my next words.

"It's okay, Bella. It's alright," he responded, brushing my loose hair away from my face and behind my ear. His hands held my face delicately as he wiped away the remaining tears. How could he be reassuring me right now? Why didn't he hate me for all that I'd done? Why did he come back to me?

"I can't imagine you ever forgiving me for the things that I've done, Edward. I don't understand how you don't hate me, but for what it's worth, I am sorry. If I could change things, if we could do things over again, I'd do it all differently." I held his gaze, showing him my sincerity.

"We both made mistakes, Bella. I owe you just as many apologies as you give me. We can't blame ourselves for being young and stupid." I hated the wisdom behind his words; I hated that he spoke from experience.

"No, Edward. You don't owe me anything. This entire mess – it's all my fault. I'm the one that got us into this. I only wish that I knew how to get us out." My shoulders slumped as the weight of the world bore down on me. There were so many things to fix, some many things that needed to be set right. I didn't even know where to start.

"You don't have to do it alone," he said with vigor.

Whether it was his voice or his words that caused my heart to skip a beat, I don't know. Again, I brought myself to look at him while steeling myself for the pain and heartbreak I knew would hide behind his eyes. I wanted to spend the rest of my life staring into the startling green but I wasn't sure it was a sight I could ever get used to now.

I was so hopeful, but I couldn't bring myself to actually believe the words he said. There was no way he could mean them.

"I want to be here for you, Bella. I want to be here with you." He took my hands in his and looked into my eyes as he took a deep breath.

"But –"

"Don't you get it, Bella?" he asked as his signature smile took over his face. For a moment, I actually believed he was the same devastatingly handsome boy from my youth, looking that carefree and happy. He was looking at me as though I were utterly absurd, a look I had once been very used to receiving. "I love you. I always have and I always will. We were young and crazy back then when we walked away from one another. And while we're still young, and hopefully not as crazy, I've learned my lesson. I won't leave you again, and I won't let you leave me. I need you, Bella. My life means nothing without you – all the good I try to do, all the people I try to help, it means nothing if I don't have you."

He was saying all the right words; my heart was swelling with the realization that he still loved me and wanted me. The day I'd dreamed of for five years was finally here. Stunned silent, I couldn't move. Edward mistook my quiet for hesitation, for uncertainty.

"I don't care what's happened during the five years we were apart. For all I care, they didn't happen. I'd rather not remember the time we weren't together. And in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. We have our whole lives ahead of us, Bella – and I do plan on spending the rest of my life with you. Mark my words, I will marry you."

I was overcome by emotion, but didn't want Edward to see my tears again tonight. I stood and walked toward the edge, trying to reel my mind in and gather some semblance of a thought. It was taking too much effort to form words. I was out of practice being dazzled by Edward. Again, he falsely sensed my hesitation.

"It doesn't matter what Emmett or Rosalie or Jasper or Alice thinks. It doesn't matter what they know. So long as you know I love you – please, Bella," he pleaded for my acknowledgment. In the next moment, his hands were on my shoulders turning me into his chest. My eyes lifted. I took in the scruff along his jaw, his soft pillow-y lips, his straight nose and his sharp cheekbones. I looked up to see his bright green, beautiful eyes glassed over as tears threatened to fall. There was fear and pain – I couldn't bring him more pain.

"Shut up and kiss me, Edward."

A smile broke out across his face as the green of his eyes danced in the moonlight. I barely noticed any of it though as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his face toward mine. Standing on my toes, stretching myself to match his height, I closed my eyes and pressed my lips against his. I felt his arm wrap around my waist, holding me to his body tightly, as one of my hands found its long-forgotten home in his copper locks. Edward didn't waste any time before he was kissing me back. His lips pressed against mine, his grip tighten, as we both tried to pour our love for the other into the kiss.

By the time we pulled apart, however many minutes later, I was dizzy with excitement. Our foreheads pressed together as we stared into each other's eyes, goofy smiles spreading across our faces. I dragged my fingers through the ends of Edward's hair, tugging and scratching at the base of his neck in the same way that used to drive him crazy. A satisfied hum left his lips and he closed his eyes as he laid his head in the crook of my neck, placing soft kisses on my skin. It made me happy to know that I still knew things about him. I hoped I would always know what made him happy.

"Edward?" I asked, still massaging his neck.

I felt him smile against my skin as he tightened his grip around my waist. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"Bella," he groaned, pulling away from my neck to look straight into my eyes. He stood to his full height and cradled my face in hands. "Consider it forgiven and forgotten. And let's never speak of it again."

The only thing I could do was nod and stare up at him in amazement. I couldn't believe I'd been lucky enough to have this man in my life once, let alone twice now.

Silently, Edward pulled me closer to the edge. He sat down, legs dangling over the side, and motioned for me to join him. As soon as I was sitting, he wrapped an arm around me tightly and pulled me closer. Feeling right at home and at ease, I leaned my head against his shoulder as I wrapped my arms around his waist. He laid a delicate kiss in my hair and whispered his love to me. I squeezed his waist in response and lost myself in the view through the city.

The moon was high in the night's sky now and it cast an eerie shadow throughout Chicago. Through the buildings that comprised the expanse landscape before our eyes, I could make out the bright lights of Navy Pier. Earlier, when I'd witnessed the same sight, I'd purposely ignored it, not wanting to think about the happy and carefree attitudes that accompanied Ferris wheel rides. Now, though, I smiled at the people I imagined on the ride so late. It could only be minutes from closing, and all those enjoying the cool night air would be heading home with their loved ones.

Images of similar nights pieced together in my mind. I could picture us, sitting side-by-side, on the Ferris wheel, not a word being spoken but leaning easily against one another. I saw us walking up and down the pier, following Rosalie and Emmett and being followed by Alice and Jasper. A dinner came next – the men of the group devising a competition to see who could win their respective lady the best prize at the carnival-like games. It all seemed so wonderfully natural; Edward fit in seamlessly with our group.

And just like that it occurred to me. Edward hadn't asked me the most painfully obvious question that he should have asked. The question that, once he learned the answer to, would cause him to change his mind.

My body stiffened, and Edward felt it. He pulled my tighter, most likely assuming the wind was getting to me. He rubbed my back in an effort to soothe me, but it was a useless cause. I didn't want to enjoy our peaceful silence of our love, but it was my love for him that prevented me from keeping this a secret.

Loosening my grip, I pulled away from his body. Immediately, he tried to pull my back in, but I twisted out of his reach.

"Are you alright, Bella?" he asked concerned.

I couldn't look at him. I nodded my head and folded my legs underneath my body, leaning away from Edward. And, of course, he noticed the change in my body language.

"What's wrong?"

I shook my head, refusing to speak the words that would cause this to end.

"Bella," he pleaded. "Please tell me. What's going on?"

Didn't he know the words that were left unspoken between us? Didn't he want an explanation for my actions? Why was he making me say the words?

My natural defense mechanism came out in full force with my answer. "Aren't you the least bit concerned about Alice? Or Jasper? Or Emmett or Rosalie?"

Edward blinked at the bite behind my words. He tried to keep the mood light, though, making his answer into a joke. "Of course, I am. But if I know Alice, she's probably already snuck up here to hear everything we're saying."

"That's not what I meant."

He stared at my puzzled. Why was he making this so difficult for me? "I don't understand. I doubt they would be anything less than supportive of this Bella. They all just want to see you happy. As long as you're happy with your decision, they will all be behind you."

"It shouldn't just be me they're worried about!"

"Bella, you've lost me. What are you talking about?" Edward pushed his hair of his eyes and leaned closer to me.

"Don't you wonder why they're so worried about me? About how they'll support whatever I decide? You were there friend, too, Edward. The same courtesy should apply."

"But I was gone, Bella. It makes sense. They're grown protective of you over the years. And I'm glad they have; I'm glad that someone was looking out for you."

"No, Edward, they should hate me! I'm the one that told you to leave! I'm the reason they lost one of their best friends! But they don't blame me; they blame you for leaving. That's not right."

"But I still left, regardless. You didn't force me to do anything. I already told you, though, Bella. It doesn't matter to me what Emmett or Rosalie or Jasper or Alice believes. So long as you are willing to accept me back into your life, I'm happy." He reached out to hug me, but I couldn't allow him to touch me. I felt like a monster of a person. Couldn't he see what I'd done?

I stood and walked away from the ledge. Behind me, I heard Edward stand and follow my steps towards the elevator shaft. His long legs caught him up to me in no time and he grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face him.

"Talk to me, Bella," he demanded.

And, of course, I couldn't deny him a thing. "It's my fault. I'm the one that let them continue on thinking that you'd abandoned us. I never told them the truth. I –"

"It doesn't matter," Edward assured me.

"Don't you want to know why, though?"

"No," he said with a smile and a laugh. "It really doesn't matter to me. I was the one who left, regardless of whose idea it was. I wasn't here for you, Bella, and you needed them. As long as they were there for you when you needed them, it doesn't matter to me what you told them. Like I said, all I need is your love, your acceptance. And as long as you are happy with your decision, they will be, too."

I reached up to grab the fabric of his sweatshirt in my fists; I had to be sure he was real – that this was real.

"Besides, they may have been angry with me, but none of them could every truly hate me," he said arrogantly as a sly, crooked grin spread over his lips.

Just like that, all was forgotten. I even laughed at his absurdity before pulling his face to mine, stopping when our lips were centimeters apart.

"I love you, Edward," I said, before claiming his lips.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­**A/N: Again, there's not much that I can say. My life has been absurd lately and I do appreciate all of you hanging in there. Like I said at the top, this is the final chapter of this story. Thank you all so much for coming along for the ride. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Please, please, please…let me know what you thought. I do have several more stories in mind, but am going to be focusing on finishing **_**Best Definitions of Good Intentions**_ **first. I've got just a few odds and ends to finish up this week before my (short) summer starts, so I will be writing more frequently…which means updating more frequently :)**


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